


call me (baby)

by peachtones



Series: yecheneung university [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: (but mostly implied u feel), 2hyun - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, Texting, binu - Freeform, he is a Mess™, honestly someone save this poor boy, jihancheol, jinhwi, just in different degrees, side pairings include but are not limited to:, this whole fic is essentially ong embarrassing himself in front of daniel, various cameos are made by ioi members and pd101 boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-01-06 02:42:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 25,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12202275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachtones/pseuds/peachtones
Summary: ong no u didnt:anywaysong no u didnt:i,, may or may not haveong no u didnt:a c c i d e n t a l l yong no u didnt:told him that he has a nice dickdwayne johnson:you did what nowcha cha slide:Oh no.trashbin:“accidentally”dontyeon:how dare you make me read this with my own two eyestrashbin:how do you accidentally tell someone they have a nice ducktrashbin:*duck





	1. thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so hi hello this is my first fic on ao3,, i hope this goes well
> 
> some background for you:  
> \- everyone goes to an arts college (yecheneung)  
> \- 94(+) line are seniors, 95 & 96 lines are juniors, 97 & 98 lines are sophomores, and 99 line are freshman (also 00 & 01 lines are high school seniors) (aka a v accurate representation of their ages)
> 
> usernames are as follows:  
> \- ong no u didnt >> ong  
> \- dontyeon >> doyeon  
> \- #1 army >> yoojung  
> \- 1969 moon landing >> moon bin  
> \- cha cha slide >> eunwoo  
> \- dwayne johnson >> rocky
> 
> (also the title is from call me baby by exo!)

**[ SIN SQUAD 2.0 (6) ]**

**dontyeon:** ayo wassup my homies

 **#1 army:** doyeon why  
**#1 army:** stop hanging out with bin please  
**#1 army:** this is like when he introduced you to memes  
**#1 army:** except worse 

 **dontyeon:** :’(

 **1969 moon landing:** [lilhoetryme_n.png]  
**1969 moon landing:** say that to my face 

 **#1 army:** give me until this prof gives us a break and i will 

 **1969 moon landing:** now that’s dedication

 **#1 army:** i’m also gonna kick your ass

 **1969 moon landing:** what  
**1969 moon landing:** why  
**1969 moon landing:** i didnt even do anything

 **#1 army:** …

 **1969 moon landing:** ………………….today

 **#1 army:** think of it as payback for all the stupid shit you’re gonna do in the future

 **dontyeon:** oooooooo get rekt bin

 **#1 army:** who said that,,, suddenly i dont know a doyeon

 **dontyeon:** :-((((((  
**dontyeon:** you know what see who helps you with your calc hw now yoojung 

 **#1 army:** nO IM OSRRY DOYEON  
**#1 army:** I DINDT MEAN IT PLEASE

 **1969 moon landing:** what did i do to deserve all this abuse  
**1969 moon landing:** minhyuk where are you i need someone to defend my honor  
**1969 moon landing:** i’d ask eunwoo but he's too nice he wouldn’t fight yoojung 

 **dwayne johnson:** soz bro ur on ur own have fun kickin his ass yoojung 

 **1969 moon landing:** bRO

 **ong no u didnt:** did i like kill someone in my past life or smth  
**ong no u didnt:** bc god why does this keep happening to me  
**ong no u didnt:** i can never show my face in public again  
**ong no u didnt:** i’m never leaving my room  
**ong no u didnt:** suddenly i’m a dropout i dont know a college what’s that  
**ong no u didnt:** this is worse than the time i got a grape stuck up my nose  
**ong no u didnt:** or that time bin bet me i couldnt do the splits and i ripped my pants straight up the ass trying to do it

 **1969 moon landing:** it wasnt even a full split tho like  
**1969 moon landing:** and i told you not to do the splits in jeans  
**1969 moon landing:** but dont listen to bin he doesnt know anything 

 **ong no u didnt:** in my defense i was drunk so that shouldnt count  
**ong no u didnt:** and i couldnt not do it you know how much i needed that $10 

 **1969 moon landing:** u spent all trying to win that plushie from the claw machine,, 

 **ong no u didnt:** ur point???? 

 **cha cha slide:** Hyung what happened?

  **ong no u didnt:** eunwoo,,,, my bro,,,, my favorite dongsaeng,,, the one and only person in the gc whom truly cares about me and my wellbeing,,,,,,,,, thank you for being concerned about me,, unlike SOME people

 **1969 moon landing:** @ me next time

 **#1 army:** savage

 **ong no u didnt:** OKAY ANYWAY  
**ong no u didnt:** so  
**ong no u didnt:** you know that daniel dude  
**ong no u didnt:** the one who’s in my eng lit class  
**ong no u didnt:** had pink hair at one point  
**ong no u didnt:** always stumbles in right as the prof is taking attendance  
**ong no u didnt:** has suddenly been wearing a wrist brace for the past two weeks????  
**ong no u didnt:** like what’s up with that he should probably get that checked out by a doctor or smth

 **1969 moon landing:** u mean the dude you’ve had a crush on for like 2.5 yrs or smth but ur too much of a chicken to actually talk to him so you like lowkey stalk him  
**1969 moon landing:** that’s creepy hyung

 **[ ong no u didnt ] changed [ 1969 moon landing ]’s nickname to [ trashbin ]**  

 **ong no u didnt:** shut it  
**ong no u didnt:** and it's called admiring from afar 

 **trashbin:** you fool this is my true form 

 **ong no u didnt:** choke

 **cha cha slide:** Hyung...

 **ong no u didnt:** sorry  
**ong no u didnt:** anyways  
**ong no u didnt:** i,, may or may not have  
**ong no u didnt:** a c c i d e n t a l l y  
**ong no u didnt:** told him that he has a nice dick 

 **dwayne johnson:** you did what now

 **cha cha slide:** Oh no. 

 **trashbin:** “accidentally”

 **dontyeon:** how dare you make me read this with my own two eyes

 **trashbin:** how do you accidentally tell someone they have a nice duck  
**trashbin:** *duck 

 **#1 army:** nicely

 **trashbin:** **DUCK  
**trashbin:** D I C K 

 **ong no u didnt:** well,, u see,,,,  
**ong no u didnt:** to set the scene:  
**ong no u didnt:** there i was, sitting in the library and doing my textbook readings like a good student,, 

 **trashbin:** fake  
**trashbin:** we all know ur a horrible student 

 **#1 army:** oh like you are?

 **dontyeon:** D I S S

 **trashbin:** i came here to have a good time and im feeling so attacked right now

 **ong no u didnt:** bin  
**ong no u didnt:** leT ME TELL MY STORY 

 **ong no u didnt:** okay so as i was saying i was in the library, reading my textbook like u do  
**ong no u didnt:** and then suddenly i feel a presence next to me  
**ong no u didnt:** and u know i dont think anything of it bc u know?? maybe someone is gonna sit next to me the library isnt that crowded but u know no one can resist these good looks,, a true visual 

 **trashbin:** im vomiting  
**trashbin:** why do i associate with u  
**trashbin:** also how can you say that when eunwoo exists 

 **ong no u didnt:** BIN  
**ong no u didnt:** i will kick your ass out of the chat i swear to god if u dont  
**ong no u didnt:** also i concede to the fact that eunwoo is the most beautiful man on this godforsaken earth and no one will ever reach his level of beauty 

 **cha cha slide:** Thank you, Hyung.

 **trashbin:** you'll have to physically kick me out of the chat  
**trashbin:** meet me @ that quad lets settle this like men

**[ cha cha slide ] kicked [ trashbin ] out of the chat**

**dontyeon:** oh my god 

 **dwayne johnson:** h o l y  s h i t

 **#1 army:** did that really just happen or am i hallucinating

**[ dwayne johnson ] changed the chat name to [ eunwoo just Did That™ ]**

**cha cha slide:** Continue, hyung.

 **ong no u didnt:** thank you eunwoo  
**ong no u didnt:** okay so where was i  
**ong no u didnt:** ah yes so i thought someone was just gonna sit down so i was minding my own business and shit  
**ong no u didnt:** but then i feel a tap on my shoulder?? so like i take out my earphone and turn my head and there is daniel standing right fucking there, like beautiful by crush is literally playing in my other ear and the light was like haloing around his head  
**ong no u didnt:** it was like some shit straight out of a drama like you cant make this up  
**ong no u didnt:** but i just stare at him, gaping just a little bc i have never been this close to a G O D in human form, and then he has the audacity to smile at me? like what the fuck??  
**ong no u didnt:** so like any logical person i panic  
**ong no u didnt:** i avert my eyes because i feared if i stared at the sun any longer I'd go blind and i love having my 20/20 eyesight  
**ong no u didnt:** but that's a rookie mistake  
**ong no u didnt:** my eyes land on…  
**ong no u didnt:** h i s  d i c k  
**ong no u didnt:** obviously not on purpose because his crotch is like at my eye level like why does he have to be tall then this wouldnt be an issue  
**ong no u didnt:** but then i panic more bc here i am,, just staring at his dick. silently starting to question how he gets a whole dick in those pants. u know the ones, the super tight ripped ones 

 **#1 army:** the pair that made you walk into a doorway bc he was leaning over a table and his ass looked “like it was sculpted by by michaelangelo there is no other way an ass can look like that” ? 

 **ong no u didnt:** yes those ones

 **#1 army:** understandable  
**#1 army:** i, too, wonder how a whole dick can fit into pants in general

 **dwayne johnson:** i tried to explain to you

 **#1 army:** yea no thanks i didnt want to hear you talk about your duck minhyuk  
**#1 army:** *dick 

 **dontyeon:** the curse of the duck

 **ong no u didnt:** but okay back to my story  
**ong no u didnt:** i am panicking, and glance back up at his holy face as soon as i realize i had been staring at his dick and my face feels like it's on fire  
**ong no u didnt:** so i go to complement his pants so he doesn't think im a pervert who likes staring at people's crotches, y’know?  
**ong no u didnt:** but what do i say?  
**ong no u didnt:** “that's a nice dick”  
**ong no u didnt:** and i dont realize what ive said until a few seconds pass  
**ong no u didnt:** like what did i do to deserve this  
**ong no u didnt:** obviously i nyoomed the fuck outta there after that bc i was on some weird adrenaline high, which 2/10 would not recommend because it leads accidentally commenting on people's crotches  
**ong no u didnt:** which brings us back to the present

 **dontyeon:** wow 

 **dwayne johnson:** you fucked up big time my dude

 **[ cha cha slide ] added [ moon bin ] to the chat**  

**[ cha cha slide ] changed [ moon bin ]’s nickname to [ binnie ]**

**cha cha slide:** [screenshot_27.png]  
**cha cha slide:** [screenshot_28.png]  
**cha cha slide:** Here's what you missed, Bin.

 **binnie:** EUNWOO  
**binnie:** I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT TO ME  
**binnie:** OF ALL PEOPLE  
**binnie:** I TRUSTED YOU 

 **cha cha slide:** I'm sorry, but it would've taken Seongwoo-hyung 30 minutes to tell his story if I didn't.  
**cha cha slide:** I'll buy you take out to make up for it.

 **binnie:** hell yeah apology accepted 

 **#1 army:** that's all it took

 **binnie:** what can i say im a simple man

 

☆☆☆

 

 **[ sexy bandit for president (4) ]**  

 **damn daniel:** um  
**damn daniel:** i just got my dick complemented and idk how 2 feel abt that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u wanna know how ong got a grape stuck up his nose: he was drinking w/ myungjun and jinwoo and they were playing truth or dare and ong got dared to stick a blueberry up his nose,, and then they waned to see how big an object had to be before it could not go in his nose (he got $1 from jinwoo for each object; he ended up sticking the blueberry, a coin, a cube of pickled radish, and the (kinda big) grape up his nose). they had to cut the grape with a chopstick and when they got it out, ong said that if either of them ate the grape he'd give them his $4 (no one did)


	2. friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new usernames for this chapter:  
> \- main visual >> jaehwan  
> \- hwang emperor >> minhyun  
> \- mother >> jisung

**[ sexy bandit for president (4) ]**

**[ main visual ] added [ jung sewoon ] to the chat**

**[ jung sewoon ] changed [ main visual ]’s nickname to [ it's a me, mario ]**

**it's a me, mario:** >:O  
**it's a me, mario:** how dare you expose me like this

 **jung sewoon:** ;-)

**[ it's a me, mario ] changed [ jung sewoon ]’s nickname to [ it's a me, luigi ]**

**it's a me, mario:** payback

 **it’s a me, luigi:** you ass

**[ it's a me, luigi ] changed their nickname to [ ponyo ]**

**hwang emperor:** Why are you two awake it isn't even noon yet

 **it's a me, mario:** i could ask u the same thing hyung

 **hwang emperor:** I wake up at normal hours, like a normal person  
**hwang emperor:** But my roommate woke me up because he was softly yelling into his pillow  
**hwang emperor:** He said he was yelling because he remembered he did something embarrassing yesterday

 **it's a me, mario:** mood

 **ponyo:** hold up  
**ponyo:** why is this group chat called sexy bandit for president

 **it's a me, mario:** it's all dongho’s fault

 **ponyo:** ???  
**ponyo:** care to elaborate??

 **it's a me, mario:** kang dongho, also known as baekho, born 21 july 1995 in jeju, south korea

 **ponyo:** that's not what i meant  
**ponyo:** why are you like this

 **it's a me, mario:** you know you love it ;-)

 **ponyo:** new phone who dis

 **it's a me, mario:** :-(

 **hwang emperor:** Dongho is a part of the campus’s dance cover group.  
**hwang emperor:** And of course they danced to BTS, because what is a dance cover group without dancing  to Bangtan?

 **it's a me, mario:** dancing to exo

 **ponyo:** well you're not wrong

 **hwang emperor:** But they did an evolution of Bangtan  
**hwang emperor:** [evolutionofbts.mp4]  
**hwang emperor:** And they did Boy In Luv, which produced this  
**hwang emperor:** [sexybandit.gif]  
**hwang emperor:** [ytcomments1.png]  
**hwang emperor:** [ytcomments2.png]  
**hwang emperor:** So people started calling him Sexy Bandit

 **mother:** oh god why didnt i mute the chat last night  
**mother:** i was just rudely awakened and it's all the sexy bandit’s fault  
**mother:** that handsome bastard

 **hwang emperor:** Sorry Hyung, Sewoon asked  
**hwang emperor:** But we started calling him Sexy Bandit too after that

 **it's a me, mario:** hence, sexy bandit for president

 **mother:** because  
**mother:  
** ┏┓  
┃┃╱╲ in this  
┃╱╱╲╲ house  
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love  
▔▏┗┛▕▔  & appreciate  
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲  
          kang dongho  
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲  
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

 **hwang emperor:** But also because he's in the running for becoming captain of the dance team this year

 **mother:** okay unrelated but:  
**mother:** where is sungwoon  
**mother:** i havent seen him in the chat for like the past three days

 **it's a me, mario:** ...

 **mother:** did y'all not invite sungwoon back  
**mother:** you are all horrible children (minus sewoon, minhyun, and daniel) why do i put up with you

 **it's a me, mario:** but that just leaves me tho

 **mother:** yes

 **it's a me, mario:** >:O

**[ mother ] added [ ha sungwoon ] to the chat**

**[ ha sungwoon ] changed their nickname to [ I HATE YOU ALL ]**

**I HATE YOU ALL:** jisung hyung you are the exception  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** and minhyun too bc you were a neutral party  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** but we put P O T A T O E S on our pizza here wHAT IS THE BIG DEAL ABOUT PINEAPPLE LET ME L I V E

 **it's a me, mario:** it's a fact, pineapple just doesn't belong on pizza

 **ponyo:** :-)

 **it's a me, mario:** nOT YOU TOO  
**it's a me, mario:** i cant believe this,,  
**it's a me, mario:** i invited you into my home,, fed you,, played my guitar for you,,, and this is how you repay me?

 **ponyo:** :-)))))))

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** also daniel what's this i hear about someone telling you that you have a nice dick

 **it's a me, mario:** o yea that's quite the story there

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** daniel  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** danyel  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** niel  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** dan  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** danny  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** danny boy  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** danimal

**[ it's a me, mario ] changed [ damn daniel ]’s nickname to [ danimal ]**

**I HATE YOU ALL:** kang euigeon

 **danimal:** fuck off i wss trying 2 zleep

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** tell me how ur dick got complemented

 **danimal:** give mw liek 5 minuyes im not awake enough for thsi

 **it's a me, mario:** im timing you  
**it's a me, mario:** you better be back in exactly 5 minutes

 **it's a me, mario:** ring ding dong bitch it's been 5 minutes where are you

 **danimal:** how has someone not murdered you already

 **it's a me, mario:** ive been held at knifepoint if that counts for anything

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** tbh im not surprised

 **hwang emperor:** I feel like I should be concerned

 **mother:** what  
**mother:** who  
**mother:** when  
**mother:** where  
**mother:** why  
**mother:** how

 **ponyo:** it was me  
**ponyo:** and it wasnt even at knifepoint  
**ponyo:** i was cutting onions and he was judging my knife skills  
**ponyo:** and i said “you know im holding a knife right. are you one to talk about that right now” and waggled the knife in his direction  
**ponyo:**  he shrieked and ran out of the kitchen

**[ I HATE YOU ALL ] changed [ it's a me, mario ]’s nickname to [ liar liar pants on fire ]**

**mother:** #exposed

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** i dont know who you are but why were you not added to this gc sooner  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** we need someone to keep jaehwan in line  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** you can only take so much before you decide to start googling places to hide a body

 **ponyo:** jung sewoon, music major  
**ponyo:** same year and roommates with jaehwan, unfortunately

 **liar liar pants on fire:** what do u mean unfortunately??  
**liar liar pants on fire:** i am a fucking delight

 **danimal:** living up to your new nickname already

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** but back to today’s hot topic: dan’s dick  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** give me the deets you wild son of a gun

 **danimal:** i was just going to the library to study for my english literature class  
**danimal:** i was actually about ready 2 just go ahead and nap in one of the study rooms but i gotta keep up the illusion that i got my shit together, y’know? but i saw this dude who is in my eng lit class and decided that maybe we could study together, like that’s probably a good move so i dont end up just using my book as a pillow

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** whomst?  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** i need all the juicy details

 **liar liar pants on fire:** he doesnt know his name lmao

 **danimal:** in my defense, i came into class late like every day for the first month bc my modern dance instructor kept forgetting to call time for class and the prof would be done with attendance by then. also i missed whatever introduction game they did because i actually was in the wrong classroom for like an hour on the first day  
**danimal:** i did actually asked his name because i sat next to him once,, but i didnt hear him properly the first two times and you know i cant just ask a third time so i pretended like i heard him

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** rip

 **danimal:** but anyways i decided to sit with him since we both have the same class, like that’s logical right, a universally acknowledged Good Move. we study together and learn and shit  
**danimal:** so i go up to him and go to pull out the chair next to him but then i notice he’s got headphones in so i should probably tap him on the shoulder to let him know im sitting down so i dont accidentally startle him or smth but when i do and go to ask if i can sit there bc idk he might be saving the spot for someone or something he suddenly experiences like at least three different emotions cross his face in a matter of a second  
**danimal:** it was actually kind of amusing like how can a human face express that much in such a short period of time  
**danimal:** but he suddenly looks down before looking back up at me and says in a really confident voice “that’s a nice dick”, like he sells it with a smile and everything and i am standing there for a moment starting to question if someone else has actually genuinely told me that i have a nice dick before  
**danimal:** mid-questioning i see his face fall, probably morphing into something akin to mortification because he realized what he just said, like he probably didnt mean to say that, but he did, and i was there to witnessed it. then, in what i assume was in an act of embarrassment, he quickly grabbed his backpack from the floor and legit started started sprinting towards the exit  
**danimal:** he left his textbook tho, which he probably forgot in his moment of panic  
**danimal:** i have to figure out how to return it to him though, bc i dont think he'll want to face me anytime soon but we’re going to need it for class on tuesday

 **mother:** if i was in that situation i wouldn't either tbh

 **hwang emperor:** I hope you can get his book back to him

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** tbh that was less wild than i was expecting  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** im actually disappointed

 

☆☆☆

 

**[ eunwoo just Did That™ (6) ]**

**ong no u didnt:** fUCK I JUST REALIZED I LEFT MY BOOK WHILE FLEEINH THE SVENE YESTERDAY  
**ong no u didnt:** F U C K  
**ong no u didnt:** he probably took my textbook he's a good person like that  
**ong no u didnt:** i need that book but i dont think i can look him in the eye after telling him he has a nice dick

 **binnie:** if you buy me snacks I'll get it back from him for you

 **ong no u didnt:** i dont trust you enough to do that  
**ong no u didnt:** you would take any chance you had to ruin me and my stunning reputation

 **binnie:** rUDE

 **#1 army:** if you buy me snacks I'll get it back from him for you

 **ong no u didnt:** deal

 **binnie:** R U D E  
**binnie:** i am literally right here hyung  
**binnie:** how can you do me dirty like this

 **ong no u didnt:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> misc info to enhance ur reading experience:  
> \- jisung should technically be graduated as a 91 liner, but he decided to switch majors junior year  
> \- sungwoon attends another art college nearby (he transferred to get a more specified degree)


	3. saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you may have noticed that i changed the chapter titles to days of the week! i decided it would be easier to keep track of what day it was within the story like that (plus there may be instances of several chapters occuring on the same day). also! if you notice certain people not showing up a lot in certain chats that's because either 1. they are in class, 2. they are busy at that moment, or 3. they are lurkers and dont often contribute to chats
> 
> new usernames:  
> \- 170720 mcd (kai focus) >> ong  
> \- Her (my gf) stan >> yoojung

**[ it's not gay if u say no homo (2) ]**

**170720 mcd (kai focus):** u know what daniel looks like right

 **Her (my gf) stan:** would i have offered if i didnt know what he looks like

 **170720 mcd (kai focus):** tru  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** u a bro like that  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** okay but how do u know where to find him

 **Her (my gf) stan:** he goes to the same studio on campus like every saturday around 2:30pm

 **170720 mcd (kai focus):** that's really specific  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** how do u know this  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** how did u become privy to this information  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** u havent been stalking him have u

 **Her (my gf) stan:** remember last semester when i fell asleep in the practice room when we were preparing for that flashmob over break and everybody piled their sweatshirts on top of me while i was asleep?

 **170720 mcd (kai focus):** yes minhyuk and bin both sent me pictures  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** u looked so small buried under there,,  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** like a hamster or smth  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** but that’s beside the point what abt that

 **Her (my gf) stan:** after dongho-sunbae woke me up and told me to go home daniel came in asking about open hours for the studio for next semester  
**Her (my gf) stan:** he's been stopping in after we wrap up practice for like the past month  
**Her (my gf) stan:** so since practice just finished im gonna wait in the practice room until he arrives and then ask about your textbook

 **170720 mcd (kai focus):** okay  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** that sounds like a solid plan  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** i mean what could possibly go wrong

 **170720 mcd (kai focus):** oH G Od  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** why did i say that  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** i probably just jinxed the whole thing  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** yoojung  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** yoojung-ah  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** where did you go  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** dont tell me he's already there it's only 2:23

 **Her (my gf) stan:** sorry i was just blessed by the presence of the one and only kim chungha  
**Her (my gf) stan:** first off, she came in and smiled (??) at me (??????)  
**Her (my gf) stan:** and then she asks if she can play music over the speakers and i tell her to go for it  
**Her (my gf) stan:** and of course she just has to play fucking GASHINA BY SUNMI  
**Her (my gf) stan:** i, as a gay, was not ready for her to start dancing to it  
**Her (my gf) stan:** but then she asks me (????) if i can help for a little bit (???????????) and she has me do the male dancer part  
**Her (my gf) stan:** and just let me say:  
**Her (my gf) stan:** thank god it was just gashina and not smth like bbhmm or else i would have died on the spot

 **170720 mcd (kai focus):** rip  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** is doyeon still trying to set u up with her

 **Her (my gf) stan:** yes  
**Her (my gf) stan:** if you tell her this happened i will murder you in ur sleep  
**Her (my gf) stan:** i may be hopelessly in love with my best friend but i am a weak woman when it comes to girls dancing to sunmi (also hyuna,, but that's another story)  
**Her (my gf) stan:** do not give her more incentive to try and force me on a date with chungha-sunbae  
**Her (my gf) stan:** you cant blame me for admiring the real life art that is kim chungha dancing to sunmi, if you saw daniel dancing to blackout by vixx you would have a heart attack or something

 **170720 mcd (kai focus):** yea ur probably right  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** that leg move they do?? his thighs would look so good. also crotch grabbing is literally part of the choreo,, i would not survive  
**170720 mcd (kai focus):** but i pinkie promise i will not tell doyeon

 **Her (my gf) stan:** thank you  
**Her (my gf) stan:** okay gotta blast someone's opening the door and i think it might be daniel

 **170720 mcd (kai focus):** godspeed my child

 

☆☆☆

 

**[ sexy bandit for president (6) ]**

**danimal:** why are weird things suddenly happening to me

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** why do you say that

 **danimal:** well, 1. i was just accosted by a very small girl upon entering the studio, and 2. i was nearly tackled by a boy as i was leaving the studio

 **liar liar pants on fire:** wtf does accosted even mean

 **hwang emperor:** “acc•ost /ə’kôst/: approach and address (someone) boldly or aggressively”

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** please tell me one of those stories is better than someone telling u you have a nice dick

 **liar liar pants on fire:** thank u hyung

 **mother:** how and why were you accosted niel  
**mother:** also why were you almost tackled???

 **danimal:** i just walked into the studio and it was like she appeared out of nowhere but she said “sunbae you have oppa’s textbook right?” and i was kinda too stunned to say anything, so she continued by saying “he said you, and i quote, have a nice dick. i dont know and honestly dont care to find out if you have a nice dick, but he left his textbook in the library when he ran away and he needs it back. you have it right”

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** direct  & to the point  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** i like her

 **mother:** did you have the book

 **danimal:** well yeah, I've been carrying it around since thursday just in case i ran into him so i could give it back but i have had zero success until thus far  
**danimal:** so i gave her the textbook bc i thought she would probably get it back to him faster than i would and like what if he has assignments he needs to do? i would be preventing him from doing well if i kept holding onto the book, that'd make me a horrible person  
**danimal:** but she asked if i wanted to give him a message when she returned the book but i couldnt think of anything so i told her no and she left

 **liar liar pants on fire:** you  i d i o t  
**liar liar pants on fire:** you had this whole interaction with someone who knows him,,, you could've asked what his name was

 **ponyo:** i hate to admit it but jaehwan is right

 **danimal:** oh fuck

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** you done fucked up

 **hwang emperor:** But that's in the past, you can't do anything about it now

 **liar liar pants on fire:** how'd you almost get tackled tho

 **danimal:** it was when i was leaving the studio  
**danimal:** i was checking to make sure the door was locked bc it open hours had ended, right? and as I'm turning around a guy literally trips and falls into me, but it felt a little too forceful to just be a fall? maybe he was just running bc he left something in the practice room and needed to get it before the room was locked  
**danimal:** but anyways i fall back against the door as i try to grab him bc he's probably a dance major if he’s on this part of campus and i don't want him to get injured, especially if it's by something preventable  
**danimal:** i think he got flustered because he pushed himself upright and muttered something that sounded kind of like “if i wasnt dating eunwoo.. no hyung would kill me”  
**danimal:** but he shoved a piece of paper at me, said “thank me later” and ran off before i could ask any questions

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** what was on the paper

 **ponyo:** i'm guessing a phone number

 **danimal:** it was a phone number

 **ponyo:** pay up jaehwan

 **mother:** why would you two bet on something like that

 **ponyo:** jaehwan started it  
**ponyo:** and he now owes me $50 so  
**ponyo:** i see no downside

 **hwang emperor:** Daniel, do you think you describe the girl that asked you about that guy’s textbook? Because I was thinking, if she was in the practice room when you got there, she might be in the campus’s dance group with Dongho  
**hwang emperor:** You go after they finish practice, right?

 **liar liar pants on fire:** o shit ur a genius

**[ liar liar pants on fire ] changed [ hwang emperor ]’s nickname to [ hwang genius ]**

**danimal:** uhh she came up to like my chest height-wise, had brown hair with bangs i think? that's all i can really remember about her, sorry if that isnt enough to go by

 **hwang genius:** [yoojungfromevolutionofbts.png]  
**hwang genius:** Is this her?

 **danimal:** yes  
**danimal:** hwang minhyun you are a lifesaver

 **hwang genius:** Her name is Choi Yoojung, Dongho is pretty sure she is a freshman

 **mother:** i’ll assemble the baby squad in the morning to see if i can confirm this info

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's almost,,, as if none of them have heard of a class list
> 
> (also if u wanna know yoojung covered hobi in the evolution of bts dance cover)


	4. sunday, pt. 1

**[ yoon jisung ] created a chat with [ park woojin, park jihoon, lee daehwi, bae jinyoung, and lai guanlin ]**

**[ yoon jisung ] changed the chat name to [ Baby Squad™ ]**

**[ yoon jisung ] changed their nickname to [ mother ]**

**mother:** change your names before i start

**[ park woojin ] changed [ park jihoon ]’s nickname to [ jeojang ]**

**[ jeojang ] changed [ park woojin ]’s nickname to [ nation's dark past ]**

**[ bae jinyoung ] changed [ lee daehwi ]’s nickname to [ david ]**

**[ david ] changed [ bae jinyoung ]’s nickname to [ what that mouth do ]**

**lai guanlin:** how do i set my nickname..?

**[ mother ] changed [ lai guanlin ]’s nickname to [ sweetest baby ]**

**mother:** everyone good?

 **nation's dark past:** ye

 **david** : yeah

 **jeojang:** yep

 **what that mouth do:** yeah

 **sweetest baby:** yes

 **mother:** all right now listen up children  
**mother:** daniel is a having a situation  
**mother:** im not gonna give all the details bc some of y'all are actual literal babies and i cant just go around corrupting your innocence like that

 **nation's dark past:** is it a sex thing  
**nation's dark past:** bc hyung you know we have sex ed in high school right

 **mother:** Park Woojin.

 **nation's dark past:** sorry hyung

 **sweetest baby:** it's okay Hyung, Jihoon-hyung and Daehwi-hyung explain stuff when I ask about words I don't know

 **jeojang:** dont expose us like this  
**jeojang:** also can you blame me hyung,, how can u deny that face anything

 **mother:** true,, he is truly a pure, sweet baby

 **sweetest baby:** thank you Hyung!

 **what that mouth do:** a cinnamon roll,, too pure for this world

 **david:** says a cinnamon roll

 **jeojang:** stop flirting im gonna barf

 **david:** ur just jealous

 **jeojang:** [maybeso.gif]

 **mother:** okay break it up you two  
**mother:** also back to why i created the chat: dan’s situation  
**mother:** basically he's trying to find out the name of a dude who complimented him but missed 3 out of 3 chances to do so, so we've resorted to drastic measures  
**mother:** does anyone know a girl named choi yoojung that (presumably) attends our college?

 **jeojang:** why did u add daehwi and guanlin hyung  
**jeojang:** they arent even in college

 **mother:** she looks like this:  
**mother:** [yoojungfromevolutionofbts.png]  
**mother:** also jihoon u never know how somebody might know somebody, like did i think i was gonna be friends with a bunch of children at my age?? no  
**mother:** but here i am

 **david:** hang on i might know a guy who knows a guy

 **mother:** see

 **david:** should i forward the situation if my guy does know a guy

 **mother:** yes please

 

☆☆☆

 

**[ trilingual dog lovers anonymous (3) ]**

**hasselhoff:** hey somi

 **somi the money:** yes david my boy

 **hasselhoff:** one, pls never say that again  
**hasselhoff:** two, do you know a girl named choi yoojung?

 **green eggs and ham:** GUYS I JUST SAW A DOG ON MY WAY HOME  
**green eggs and ham:** [cutetinydog.png]

 **hasselhoff:** CUTE !!!

 **somi the money:** A HANDSOME LITTLE MAN  
**somi the money:** but yes i do

 **hasselhoff:** does she go to college ur planning on going to?

 **somi the money:** yeah, she's a freshman  
**somi the money:** why?

 **hasselhoff:** okay bc my friend's friend is having a situation and he needs to know one of her friend's names  
**hasselhoff:** for romantic purposes i think  
**hasselhoff:** but her friend is a dude  
**hasselhoff:** “he's trying to find out the name of a dude who complimented him but missed 3 out of 3 chances to do”, as my friend put it  
**hasselhoff:** but can u pass along the message for me?

 **green eggs and ham:** why does this feel like the plot to a drama i have never watched

 **somi the money:** bc it is  
**somi the money:** and yeah i gotchu  
**somi the money:** i will get back to you in 1-3 business days with a name

 

☆☆☆

 

 **[ Baby Squad™ (6) ]**  

 **david:** so my guy knows a guy  
**david:** according to my guy, she does indeed attend the same college as you and is a freshman  
**david:** my guy is gonna get his name and get back to me

 **mother:** thank jesus

 **what that mouth do:** jesus had nothing to do with it  
**what that mouth do:** it was all daehwi

 **jeojang:** that was a horrible joke and i hate you for it

 **david:** ur just being salty  
**david:** stop hating on our love

 **sweetest baby:** yeah Hyung

 **jeojang:** i'll stop when i'm dead

 **david:** i can arrange that  
**david:** i know a guy

 **mother:** pls no hiring hitmen until you've graduated high school, okay?

 **david:** but if i do it now i'll be tried as a minor

 **nation's dark past:** how much have you thought about hiring a hitman to realize that

 **david:** too much  
**david:** i keep looking at wikipedia articles for school but end up spiraling into its clutches and clicking too many links  
**david:** one time i started at butterfly migration but ended at biological warfare  
**david:** did u know during world war 2 japan was going to launch a plague on san diego but it never ended up happening because japan surrendered seven days before they were supposed to execute it

 **jeojang:** why are you like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt want to spoil the surprise appearance in the middle, so:
> 
> \- hasselhoff >> daehwi  
> \- somi the money >> somi  
> \- green eggs and ham >> samuel


	5. sunday, pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanna say thank you real quick to everyone leaving comments!! they really make my day and even if i dont respond to them (i dont wanna mess up my stats) i really appreciate them!!! thank u & ily all!!! ♡

**[ eunwoo just Did That™ (6) ]**

**binnie:** okay but if you had to, would you rather eat a sandwich that has been on the ground for an indeterminate amount of time but it definitely looks dirty or lick minhyuk’s foot after his back to back dance classes

 **ong no u didnt:** what kind of sandwich tho

 **binnie:** it doesnt matter

 **ong no u didnt:** yeah it does  
**ong no u didnt:** like what if the sandwich just had peanut butter on it? i wouldnt eat that  
**ong no u didnt:** but if it was a strawberry and cream sandwich? bitch i’d pick that up no questions asked

 **binnie:** okay, fine, the sandwich is ur fave kind of sandwich

 **ong no u didnt:** then the sandwich

 **#1 army:** sandwich

 **dontyeon:** the sandwich  
**dontyeon:** you know the options are supposed to be equally as gross, right  
**dontyeon:** like why would i lick minhyuk’s foot when i could just brush off the dirt and enjoy my sandwich

 **#1 army:** yeah it was a really poor comparison

 **binnie:** well excuse me i didnt think we were gonna get critical on this scenario abt sandwiches  
**binnie:** okay then would you rather do something embarrassing in front of your crush or fall down a flight of stairs

 **ong no u didnt:** im being personally victimized

 **dontyeon:** what is the extent of my injuries from falling down the stairs

 **binnie:** probably some bruising and maybe a broken bone if ur unlucky

 **#1 army:** did anyone see me fall down the stairs

 **binnie:** no

 **#1 army:** stairs

 **ong no u didnt:** stairs

 **dontyeon:** stairs

 **#1 army:** you’re really bad at this

 **binnie:** u do one then i give up

 **dontyeon:** :O !!!!  
**dontyeon:** i just had an idea

 **ong no u didnt:** what is it

**[ dontyeon ] changed [ binnie ]’s nickname to [ beanie baby ]**

**beanie baby:** doyeon why

 **dontyeon:** because it’s cute  
**dontyeon:** and binnie sound like beanie

 **#1 army:** would you rather have songs stuck in your head but u cant recall any of the lyrics, just the instrumentals so you cant find out what song it is or have every single vending machine be out of your preferred choice when ur craving it  
**#1 army:** i want ur reasoning too

 **beanie baby:** that’s just cruel  
**beanie baby:** the song tho  
**beanie baby:** i cant survive w/o snacks

 **dontyeon:** vending machine  
**dontyeon:** i feel like my life would become that shinee snl skit if i had a song stuck in my head  
**dontyeon:** I'd have to ride the rhythm

 **ong no u didnt:** vending machine  
**ong no u didnt:** i need to stop spending money and that would help tbh

 **cha cha slide:** Everyone, Sanha is touring campus on Monday and I wanted to add him to the group chat so he could ask any questions he might have about campus or classes. Would that be okay?

 **dontyeon:** yeah

 **#1 army:** go for it

 **beanie baby:** ye

 **ong no u didnt:** do it  
**ong no u didnt:** i havent seen that baby in forever  
**ong no u didnt:** i miss him

**[ cha cha slide ] added [ yoon sanha ] to the chat**

**[ beanie baby ] changed [ yoon sanha ]’s nickname to [ an actual literal baby ]**

**ong no u didnt:** why are you so tall now  
**ong no u didnt:** i demand answers

 **an actual literal baby:** genetics, Hyung

 **ong no u didnt:** wow,,, is that any way to talk to ur elder u infant

 **beanie baby:** ayo wassup s-dog

 **an actual literal baby:** Hyung why

 **dontyeon:** Sanha!!!! how is high school

 **an actual literal baby:** Noona!!!! it's good I guess

 **#1 army:** by that you mean you'd rather die than continue, right

 **an actual literal baby:** Noona, you know me so well  
**an actual literal baby:** I'm waiting for the entrance exams to kill me  
**an actual literal baby:** I've accepted my death  
**an actual literal baby:** I’ve already started writing up my will: my guitar will go to Eunwoo-hyung, my goldfish will go to Doyeon-noona, and my shoe collection will go to whoever in my friend group can actually fit into them  
 **an actual literal baby:** like Cinderella

 **#1 army:** that's a bad move, doyeon will kill your fish in the first two days

 **dontyeon:** hEY

 **an actual literal baby:** okay, then Yoojung-noona you can have Mr. Bubbles

 **cha cha slide:** Questions, Sanha.

 **an actual literal baby:** oh yea right

 **an actual literal baby:** how good is the music program really?

 **beanie baby:** you ask us,, 3 dance majors, 2 acting majors, and 1 undecided,,, about the music program

 **an actual literal baby:** you could've taken music courses Hyung I don't know your life

 **cha cha slide:** The music program is actually pretty good! What classes do you want to know about in particular?

 **an actual literal baby:** what instrument classes are offered? do you show up and just sing the whole time for vocal classes? I heard there was a lyric writing classes but i think that's just a rumor. have you ever been in a high note battle with anyone? realistically, how long can a human sustain a single note?

 **beanie baby:** half of those arent even relevant questions

 **cha cha slide:** Almost all classical instruments (as band and orchestra classes), piano, guitar, and traditional instruments are offered.  
**cha cha slide:** Yes and no. Sometimes it's training, sometimes it's learning theory, and sometimes it's singing. Unless you take Arirang classes, then it's about half history and half singing.  
**cha cha slide:** There is a music composition class that includes lyric writing and analysis in the curriculum.  
**cha cha slide:** No and I am not sure. You'll have to look that up.

 **ong no u didnt:** i once witnessed mj-hyung do a high note battle and that shit was wild let me tell u  
**ong no u didnt:** i thought he was gonna pass out bc he was going so high and for so long  
**ong no u didnt:** i think i might have a video of it on my phone brb

 **dwayne johnson:** h eLp  
**dwayne johnson:** s o s

 **beanie baby:** what's up my dude

 **#1 army:** did u lock ur backpack in the practice room again

 **dontyeon:** what is it minhyuk

 **dwayne johnson:** this isnt minhyuk, this is his roommate woojin  
**dwayne johnson:** he currently has our other roommate, jihoon, in a headlock and im afraid he's gonna kill him

 **an actual literal baby:** oh my God  
**an actual literal baby:** take a picture  
**an actual literal baby:** I want to see

 **beanie baby:** if he wanted to kill him he'd already be dead

 **dwayne johnson:** i know that  
**dwayne johnson:** the murder is likely going to be accidental  
**dwayne johnson:** and i dont want to be a witness

 **cha cha slide:** I am on that side of campus, I’ll be there in 5 minutes.

 **dwayne johnson:** the door is unlocked, just come right in

 **cha cha slide:** Okay.  
**cha cha slide:** My name is Eunwoo, by that way.

 **ong no u didnt:** rip minhyuk  
**ong no u didnt:** he aint dead yet but he's gonna be  
**ong no u didnt:** also sadly the video is no longer on my phone rip  
**ong no u didnt:** but it was between myungjun and kihyun and some junior i dont know

 **dontyeon:** who won though

 **ong no u didnt:** i dont think anyone did tbh

 **beanie baby:** tragic

 **an actual literal infant:** Woojin(-ssi? Hyung?) please keep us updated on what is about to go down

 **dwayne johnson:** will do  
**dwayne johnson:** minhyuk has moved from a headlock to a position i dont know the name of  
**dwayne johnson:** i dont even know what they’re fighting over i just came out from my room to ask if anyone had done laundry yet but there they were, jihoon in a headlock

 **beanie baby:** as his best friend, i am guessing it was probably jihoon’s fault

 **dwayne johnson:** that sounds a bit biased but yea probably  
**dwayne johnson:** jihoon has been trying to fight our friends lately  
**dwayne johnson:** i dont know why but im a little concerned

 **beanie baby:** he probably either a. insulted his cooking, b. ate the leftovers he was saving, c. disrespected gd, or d. actually honest to god asked him if he wanted to fight

 **dwayne johnson:** the last one sounds most likely

 **beanie baby:** does he know that minhyuk has a 4th dan black belt in taekwondo

 **dwayne johnson:** i dont think so  
**dwayne johnson:** that’s why his ass is gettin beat  
**dwayne johnson:** oh eunwoo-ssi is here  
**dwayne johnson:** oh my god minhyuk straight up dropped jihoon on the floor  
**dwayne johnson:** u were right eunwoo-ssi is a mom friend and he is totally giving minhyuk and jihoon the “im not angry im just disappointed” look  
**dwayne johnson:** oh fuck he saw me and now he’s giving it to me too  
**dwayne johnson:** i didnt do anything why do i deserve this

 **an actual literal baby:** lmao rip my dude  
**an actual literal baby:** I’ve been on the receiving end of that way too many times  
**an actual literal baby:** you’re about 2 get lectured hardcore

 **dwayne johnson:** uh i guess i should go now  
**dwayne johnson:** and give minhyuk back his phone

 **an actual literal baby:** Bye Woojin-ssi!

 **#1 army:** thanks for providing today’s entertainment

 **ong no u didnt:** at least now i know im not the only one with a wild life

 **dontyeon:** it was nice knowing you!! even if it was only for a little bit  
**dontyeon:** and due to unfortunate circumstances

 **beanie baby:** if u see any of us on campus dont be shy, say hi

 **dwanye johnson:** i dont know what any of you look like  
**dwanye johnson:** well, except maybe you bin-hyung  
**dwanye johnson:** and eunwoo-ssi now

 **beanie baby:** o yea  
**beanie baby:** the offer still stands tho

 **dwanye johnson:** thanks  
**dwanye johnson:** well i shoudljadjhlkgpiasdh

 **beanie baby:**?????

 **dwanye johnson:** did woojin really fucking live text the whole thing?  
**dwanye johnson:** to my own groupchat?  
**dwanye johnson:** brb gotta put him in a chokehold **  
** **dwanye johnson:** eunwoo-hyung cant stop me **  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fantagio and hyung line squads are intrinsically tangled already,,, they just dont realize it
> 
> (also bin, minhyuk, and yoojung are dance majors, eunwoo and ong are acting majors, doyeon is undecided)


	6. monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhh sorry about that false update notification on wednesday i was adding chapter drafts and accidentally hit the post button instead of preview, forgive me for getting your hopes up 
> 
> but wow,, finally a full (not exactly, but pretty close) ioi appearance
> 
> \- shots shots shots >> chungha  
> \- The Rock >> nayoung  
> \- illegirl >> yoojung  
> \- Bring It On (2000) >> doyeon  
> \- sadly not myoui >> mina  
> \- zhou me the money >> kyulkyung  
> \- cosmic girl >> yeonjung  
> \- noot noot >> sohye  
> \- Clueless (1995) >> chaeyeon  
> \- s(h)o(w)mi (the money) >> somi

**[ girl group enthusiasts (11) ]**

**shots shots shots:** anyone who is willing to go an all girl version of Gashina cover with me will receive my undying love and affection

 **The Rock:** I’ll help you, Chungha

 **illegirl:** me too  
**illegirl:** i mean i already helped on saturday so  
**illegirl:** but i cant be the table girl like we practiced im too short for the table in the studio

 **Bring It On (2000):** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **sadly not myoui:** rip

 **illegirl:** mina we’re the same height

 **sadly not myoui:** still rip tho

 **zhou me the money:** hmmmmm what else u offerin tho  
**zhou me the money:** bc maybe i got better options like what do i get out of this

 **shots shots shots:** one (1) instance of help on homework each and me treating you to dinner after we finish the cover

 **zhou me the money:** okay i’m in

 **sadly not myoui:** me too

 **shots shots shots:** why can't you just help me out from the goodness of your hearts like Nayoung and Yoojung

 **sadly not myoui:** bc im broke  
**sadly not myoui:** and hungry  
**sadly not myoui:** and stupid

 **cosmic girl:** Well..  
**cosmic girl:** Ur not wrong

 **sadly not myoui:** yeonjung how could you do this to me

 **cosmic girl:** Its not that hard  
**cosmic girl:** U set urself up for a lot

 **sadly not myoui:** you're so mean

 **noot noot:** [dogcurleduponherlap.png]  
**noot noot:** my,,, heart,,,,,,,,

 **Bring It On (2000):** oh my god that dog is so cute

 **zhou me the money:** kinda looks like fried chicken tho

 **sadly not myoui:** lmao it does

 **cosmic girl:** Sohye where are u  
**cosmic girl:** Ur not at that dog cafe again r u

 **noot noot:** ……………..…..….no

 **cosmic girl:** That means yes

 **shots shots shots:** Sohye didn't you say yesterday that you needed to start saving money  
**shots shots shots:** I told you that you could come over to my apartment anytime to play with my dog instead of going to that café

 **noot noot:** i miss the dogs when i don't go unnie,,, what if they miss me too?  
**noot noot:** i feel bad so i visit them a lot  
**noot noot:** and they wag their tails extra hard when they see me walk in the door!!

 **cosmic girl:** That's what dogs normally do when they see people Sohye

 **noot noot:** i guess…..

 **The Rock:** Don't you have a test you should be studying for, Sohye?

 **noot noot:** ………….….….maybe  
**noot noot:** but i can study and pet dogs at the same time!!  
**noot noot:** i have two hands for a reason

 **sadly not myoui:** you cant argue with that  
**sadly not myoui:** it’s some solid logic

 **zhou me the money:** tbh

 **Clueless (1995):** Guess who just ran back to campus because she thought she left her USB in one of the library’s computers, but in reality it was in her backpack the whole time and now she out of breath and a little bit sweaty

 **The Rock:** You?

 **cosmic girl:** RIP

 **Bring It On (2000):** well look on the bright side:  
**Bring It On (2000):** at least u didnt lose your usb

 **Clueless (1995):** I guess  
**Clueless (1995):** But I did trip as I was speed-walking into the library, though  
**Clueless (1995):** At least three people rushed to help me up

 **cosmic girl:** It’s bc ur really pretty

 **Clueless (1995):** I was mortified  
**Clueless (1995):** But thank you Yeonjung!

 **cosmic girl:** Like not 2 be dramatic but if I wasnt tragically heterosexual I would be on u like a fly on shit

 **Clueless (1995):** Thank..you….?

 **cosmic girl:** Ur welcome

 **zhou me the money:** mood  
**zhou me the money:** except im gay

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** what did i just come back to

 **sadly not myoui:** everyone's gay for chaeyeon-unnie, even if ur straight  
**sadly not myoui:** also no one said it but i think the same goes for chungha-unnie

 **shots shots shots:** thanks mina

 **illegirl:** okay tru

 **sadly not myoui:** ur welcome unnie (´∀｀)♡

 **Bring It On (2000):** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **illegirl:** doyeon stop with the lenny face

**Bring It On (2000):**

|￣￣￣￣￣ |  
|                    |  
|        no       |  
|                    |  
| ＿＿＿＿＿|  
(\\__/)  ||  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ||  
/ 　 づ

 **noot noot:** doyeon!!! why did u do that to the bunny,,, it was so cute before and now it's creepy

 **sadly not myoui:** i agree with sohye  
**sadly not myoui:** it's creepy

 **cosmic girl:** Yea.. not a fan

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** oh hey yoojung-unnie  
**s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** i just remembered i need to ask u something

 **illegirl:** what’s up

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** my friend’s friend’s friend is looking for the name of one of your friends  
**s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** and i have been tasked with finding out this person's name

 **sadly not myoui:** that's very vague

 **illegirl:** okay  
**illegirl:** and mina is right ur gonna have to be more specific than that

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** okay so apparently he (friend's friend's friend) has class with him (your friend) but has missed out on several opportunities to find out his name

 **The Rock:** Have they ever heard of a class list?

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** i don't think so, no  
**s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** but it's too late now to tell them that i have been tasked with this i gotta do it

 **cosmic girl:** No offense but ur friend's friend’s friend is dumb

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** tbh that's fair

 **Clueless (1995):** But also, he (Yoojung’s friend) might not have added his picture to his profile so using the class list might not have worked!

 **The Rock:** That's true, Chaeyeon.

 **illegirl:** okay but back to my friend  
**illegirl:** u have to be even more specific i have a lot guy friends

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** uhh he's someone that you're close to  
**s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** also he goes to the same college as you

 **zhou me the money:** that really narrows it down

 **illegirl:** what color is his hair?

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** it's either brown or black

 **zhou me the money:** that really narrows it down x2  
**zhou me the money:** that's like 80% of the school  
**zhou me the money:** or 72% of this gc

 **illegirl:** so it's not minhyuk or sanha

 **Bring It On (2000):** or bin  
**Bring It On (2000):** he literally just dyed his hair

 **illegirl:** what  
**illegirl:** when

 **Bring It On (2000):** today  
**Bring It On (2000):** he literally just called me to yell about it since no one's complimenting him in the gc

 **sadly not myoui:** big mood

 **Bring It On (2000):** well besides eunwoo

 **illegirl:** if he calls me to yell about his hair im going to block his number  
**illegirl:** but anyways  
**illegirl:** somi do u know what year he is?

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** not a freshman, but possibly a sophomore or a junior?

 **illegirl:** that leaves me with two possible options then  
**illegirl:** do you know what class they have together?

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** uh english literature i think

 **Bring It On (2000):** oh mh god

 **illegirl:** oG MY GID

 **sadly not myoui:** what

 **cosmic girl:** What crucial info r we missin

 **illegirl:** my friend’s name is ong seongwoo

 **noot noot:** ong?

 **Bring It On (2000):** it's not a typo  
**Bring It On (2000):** that's really his name  
**Bring It On (2000):** he actually does a little speech every time he introduces himself to someone new so they don't fuck up his name

 **illegirl:** i cant believe this  
**illegirl:** he's gonna have a heart attack

 **cosmic girl:** Care 2 share w/ the rest of the group??

 **zhou me the money:** yea i wanna know why y'all are freaking out

 **Bring It On (2000):** yoojung will explain give her a second

 **illegirl:** okay so basically seongwoo has had the biggest crush on kang daniel (somi’s friend's friend's friend) (presumably) (this is who we're assuming it is) for several years and last thursday ong told daniel that he had a nice dick (completely accidental, he said it in a moment of panic) and he has been agonizing over it all weekend, like i even had to get his textbook back for him because he was too embarassed  
**illegirl:** so now that somi was asking about ong on behalf of daniel that means that he has to be at least a little bit interested in ong that he'd be willing to trust a high schooler on getting info about him

 **s(h)o(w)mi (the money):** hEY

 **illegirl:** no offense  
**illegirl:** but now daniel is going to know who ong is and is probably going to try to interact with him and im not saying that's going to make him have a heart attack but he's gonna pass out at the least

 **noot noot:** oh wow

 **cosmic girl:** That's wild

 **The Rock:** I’ve had a class with both of them before two years ago and I can attest to Seongwoo’s crush at Daniel, he literally looked at him with “heart-eyes”. But I've seen Daniel look at Seongwoo like that too, so I think the crush might be mutual.

 **sadly not myoui:** oh how the turntables

 **Bring It On (2000):** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **illegirl:** oh god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried really hard to include sejeong but i couldnt figure out how to get her in there
> 
> also have some misc info:  
> \- yoojung and chungha actually know each other, but they met through the above gc so yoojung is still shy around her in real life, hence what happened on saturday  
> \- the class nayoung had with ong and daniel was basic english language course (aka when ong's crush on daniel started)  
> \- sejeong's nickname in this gc is "Actress Kim"  
> \- sejeong spent the most of this chapter running away from a entertainment company scout because she thought he was just some random guy stalking her lmao


	7. tuesday

**[ ong seongwoo ] created a chat with [ ??? ]**

**ong seongwoo:** hi  
**ong seongwoo:** so idk if this is weird or not..  
**ong seongwoo:** but your number is on the wall of bathroom stall at the university i go to  
**ong seongwoo:** and i know i shouldnt be texting numbers randomly scrawled on bathroom walls  
**ong seongwoo:** especially because it has “for a good time call” with a winky face and an arrow pointing to your number  
**ong seongwoo:** because, realistically, it could actually be a sex hotline. like isnt that usually their tagline?  
**ong seongwoo:** like I've never called a sex hotline before but i did see a movie about it once but it made me cry, it was actually a pretty good movie  
**ong seongwoo:** okay but back to the point  
**ong seongwoo:** i dont know if your number was put here with you knowledge so im here, letting u know  
**ong seongwoo:** but if u meant for it to be there, i apologize  & u can ignore this  
**ong seongwoo:** okay bye

 **???:** can you send a picture of it so i know who to murder

 **ong seongwoo:** uhh that's not ominous at all but sure  
**ong seongwoo:** [bathroomstallwall.png]  
**ong seongwoo:** there ya go

 **???:** thank you. if you find an obituary in the school newspaper tomorrow dont be surprised

 **ong seongwoo:** i feel,, as if i should be concerned  
**ong seongwoo:** but i take it you are not, in fact, a sex hotline?

 **???:** no, i am not. i’m a college student, we go to the same college, actually. i mean, I'm assuming we go to the same college and you are also a college student. and if i was a sex hotline, wouldn't you be having a “good time” by now?

 **ong seongwoo:** yes, i am also a college student, and we probably do go to the same college? yecheneung? the arts one?  
**ong seongwoo:** and hHHMmm i guess that is true  
**ong seongwoo:** but who says I'm not having a good time right now? honestly this has been the highlight of my week so far

 **???:** yeah, i go to yecheneung too  
**???:** also i dont know how to respond to that. has your week really been that bad and/or boring so far that the highlight of it has been texting a potential sex hotline number you got off a bathroom stall?

 **ong seongwoo:** yeah pretty much  
**ong seongwoo:** i mean im counting the start of the week as being monday, and nothing happened on monday so  
**ong seongwoo:** sunday was a ride tho let me tell you

 **ong seongwoo:** but uh if you want i could like scribble your number out?? like i was going to ask earlier but we got off topic there for a moment  
**ong seongwoo:** and i mean not right now because i dont have anything to write with on me but i will definitely come back after my class and do it

 **???:** yes please, i would be forever grateful

 **ong seongwoo:** oh wait i just found a sharpie in my jacket pocket  
**ong seongwoo:** how convenient

 **ong seongwoo:** [bathroomstallwall2.png]  
**ong seongwoo:** proof of my good deed

 **???:** thank you  
**???:** i just realized we never exchanged names

 **ong seongwoo:** we should use aliases  
**ong seongwoo:** bc u know, stranger danger  
**ong seongwoo:** u might be a cool dude but like..i’ve only known you for like 15 mins and i there was a moment where i thought u really were a sex hotline  
**ong seongwoo:** so i will now be known as

**[ ong seongwoo ] changed their nickname to [ minhyuk ]**

**minhyuk:** bc it's a generic name  
**minhyuk:** i could be a n y b o d y

 **???:** or it could be your real name you're just trying to throw me off?

 **minhyuk:** oh my god that's actually really smart  
**minhyuk:** bUT I JUST THOUGHT OF A BETTER NAME

**[ minhyuk ] changed their nickname to [ kim jongin ]**

**kim jongin:** TA-DA

 **???:** as in, kai from exo?

 **kim jongin:** u guessed it  
**kim jongin:** man i wish i was really him tho like

 **???:** yeah, he’s really cool

**[ ??? ] changed their nickname to [ peter parker ]**

**kim jongin:** sPIDERMAN  
**kim jongin:** you’re a nerd

 **peter parker:** yes? can i not enjoy quality entertainment  
**peter parker:** also not to intrude or anything, but is there a reason you’ve been in a bathroom (assuming you’re still in there) for the last 20 minutes? because i’m being to become slightly concerned

 **kim jongin:** well,, you see,,,,,,  
**kim jongin:** it may be a childish thing to say, but i’m hiding from my crush  
**kim jongin:** (also lowkey skipping class bc it is boring af but that's besides the point)

 **peter parker:** why are you hiding from your crush?

 **kim jongin:** bc i embarrassed myself in front of him and now i cant face him

 **peter parker:** c'mon, it couldn't have been that bad

 **kim jongin:** oh,,,, it was  
**kim jongin:** and please dont ask what i did bc i do not want to relive the worst moment of my life ever again. i already did it once but that was bc i needed my friends to feel my pain  
**kim jongin:** but 0/10 do not want to do again

 **peter parker:** then i won’t ask

 **kim jongin:** thank u spiderman,,, u kind soul  
**kim jongin:** but now i need to ask  
**kim jongin:** how have you been talking to me for the past 22 minutes  
**kim jongin:** it’s the middle of the day, don’t you have class or smth?

 **peter parker:** i did, but i got injured during class so now i am at the hospital

 **kim jongin:** oH My god  
**kim jongin:** are you okay?  
**kim jongin:** it’s not anything bad is it?

 **peter parker:** i don’t think so. I mean, my wrist was already slightly injured and I just landed on it wrong

 **kim jongin:** landing on things wrong is how you break wrists my friend  
**kim jongin:** i know this because that’s exactly how my friend broke his wrist  
**kim jongin:** it was just a fracture tho, nothing too major  
**kim jongin:** but still broken

 **peter parker:** you’re not wrong. It doesn’t hurt a lot, but they did give me some pain medication

 **kim jongin:** well that’s good  
**kim jongin:** at least they’re not leaving you to suffer

 **peter parker:** i think that’s against hospital policy, for patients to suffer. unless it’s because that’s the treatment, like not being able to eat for 24 hours so they can do scans and stuff

 **kim jongin:** u right

 **peter parker:** oh, the doctor came back, i should probably go

 **kim jongin:** alright  
**kim jongin:** catch u later peter man  
**kim jongin:** spider parker  
**kim jongin:** you know what i meant  
**kim jongin:** dont injure anymore wrists

 **peter parker:** i'll try not to 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who ???(/peter parker) is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> (also this chat shows up as "[ ??? ] started a conversation with [ ___ ]" on the opposite side of the conversation)


	8. wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jaehwan changed his nickname back to "main visual"

**[ sexy bandit for president (6) ]**

**main visual:** mom sewoon is harassing me

 **ponyo:** no i’m not

 **main visual:** yes he is fdont listenst tohim  
**main visual:** forst he took my clotthes

 **ponyo:** i was doing laundry

 **main visual:** adb now he;s sittin gon me hepL

 **ponyo:** stop being so dramatic  
**ponyo:** but i admit i am sitting on him  
**ponyo:** but that’s only because he wouldn’t move so i could sit on the couch too

 **main visual:** excusie  
**main visual:** dramatic is my middle name

 **ponyo:** “kim dramatic jaehwan” ?

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** no it’s Jaehwan Mario Dramatiqué Kim

 **main visual:** this is bullying  
**main visual:** im going to call the police

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** have fun  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** you’ll be the one they arrest

 **main visual:** hello 112? yes i am being threatened by ha sungwoon. describe him? he's short and can't sing

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** i am going to drive all the way over there  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** just to punch you in the throat

 **main visual:** if you can even reach

**[ I HATE YOU ALL ] kicked [ main visual ] out of the chat**

**[ mother ] added [ kim jaehwan ] to the chat**

**mother:** c h i l d r e n

**[ kim jaehwan ] changed their nickname to [ main visual ]**

**main visual:** in my defense sungwoon hyung started it

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** you set yourself up for it tho  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** and then you took it too far

 **mother:** jaehwan, apologize to sungwoon  
**mother:** or i will have minhyun assemble the dad squad to guilt you into apologizing

 **ponyo:** do it, jisung-hyung

 **main visual:** i didnt know u were a sadist, sewoon

 **ponyo:** there’s lots of things you dont know about me, jaehwan

 **main visual:** why does that sound vaguely threatening  
**main visual:** oh god im roommates with a murderer arent i

 **ponyo:** if you keep acting like this, you might be  
**ponyo:** but then i wont have a roommate

 **main visual:** i was just threatened in broad daylight hyung are you seeing this

 **mother:** tbh i dont expect any less  
**mother:** any lesser man would have requested a roommate change by now

 **main visual:** >:O

 **mother:** call me if you need to hide a body sewoon

 **main visual:** >:OOO

**[ hwang genius ] added [ kim jonghyun ] to the chat**

**[ hwang genius ] changed [ kim jonghyun ]’s nickname to [ nation’s dad ]**

**hwang genius:** Jonghyun, can you add Seungcheol? He still hasn’t given me his new number

**[ nation’s dad ] added [ choi seungcheol ] to the chat**

**[ hwang genius ] changed [ choi seungcheol ]’s nickname to [ father of 11 ]**

**father of 11:** for why was I summoned

 **hwang genius:** [screenshot_195.png]  
**hwang genius:** [screenshot_196.png]  
**hwang genius:** Also give me your number, I still don’t have it and you got a new phone like 3 months ago

 **father of 11:** Oh.  
**father of 11:** also give me a sec minhyun i’ll do it rn

 **nation’s dad:** i am disappointed in you, jaehwan

 **main visual:** u can’t guilt trip me, hyung

 **hwang genius:** [photo_436.png]

 **main visual:** oh no  
**main visual:** not the Disappointed Face

 **hwang genius:** [photo_437.png]

 **main visual:** nOT TWO DISAPPOINTED FACES

 **father of 11:** [photo_3245.png]

 **main visual:** NOT THREE  
**main visual:** lmao sike  
**main visual:** still not guilt tripped  
**main visual:** im not gonna apologize to sungwoon-hyung

 **hwang genius:** Wait Dongho wanted to join too  
**hwang genius:** [photo_438.png]

 **main visual:** in order of most disappointed to least disappointed, i would rate the faces as:  
**main visual:** 1\. jonghyun, 2. seungcheol, 3. dongho, 4. minhyun

 **father of 11:** jeonghan is asking if you want The Video

 **mother:** the video?

 **nation’s dad:** sure, why not.  
**nation’s dad:** minhyun also said do it, but he set down his phone when he went into the kitchen and now he can't find it.

**[ father of 11 ] added [ joshua hong ] to the chat**

**joshua hong:** [imnotmadimjustdisappointed.mp4]

**[ joshua hong ] left the chat**

**main visual:** oh?

 **mother:** “oh?”

 **main visual:** i may,, have felt a little bit of guilt,, just now

 **father of 11:** it works every time  
**father of 11:** my work here is done

**[ father of 11 ] left the chat**

**mother:** the apology?

 **main visual:** sorry, sungwoon-hyung

 **mother:** for?

 **main visual:** for calling you short and saying you couldnt sing

 **mother:** this apology feels very insincere  
**mother:** but i assume this is the best im gonna get out of out you

 **main visual:** you are correct

 **mother:** thought so  
**mother:** sungwoon you’re being awfully quiet over there

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** oh yeah i muted the chat a while ago lmao

 **danimal:** i only leave for an hour to go to the gym and this is what i come back too…

 **main visual:** we’re a wild bunch, what did u expect

 **mother:** oh niel i have something for you

 **danimal:** that phrase only fills me with suspicion and wariness

 **mother:** well see if i give it to u now smh  
**mother:** also why did u go to the gym with ur arm in a sling  
**mother:** what did u even do

 **main visual:** whatever daniel doesnt want ill take  
**main visual:** and u cant skip leg day bro

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** you’ve never been to the gym in your life, what would you know about leg day

 **ponyo:** oh diss

 **mother:** trust me, you dont want it  
**mother:** also i wouldnt give it to you anyway, ur a brat

 **ponyo:** oh diss x2

 **main visual:** fight me sewoon

 **ponyo:** we’re literally sitting right next to each other  
**ponyo:** say it to my face

 **danimal:** so did he say it to your face or

 **ponyo:** no he’s too much of a coward

 **main visual:** i resent that statement

 **ponyo:** he literally clung to me like a koala when we went through that student run haunted house last year  
**ponyo:** i lost hearing in my left ear for a while because of his screams  
**ponyo:** andhe made me have a movie marathon with him because he was too scared to go to sleep

 **main visual:** i cant believe u’d expose me like this,,

 **danimal:** i can

 **mother:** back to my gift, we can roast jaehwan later

 **main visual:** this is cyber bullying

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** just tell us what the “gift” is already

 **mother:** the gift: ong seongwoo  
**mother:** and no that's not a typo his surname is really ong  
**mother:** to quote his friend: “ong seongwoo not hong seongwoo, ong seongwoo. not eun seongwoo, ong seongwoo. not ong seongwoon, ong seongwoo"

 **main visual:**??????

 **mother:** the name of the guy who told dan he had a nice dick

 **main visual:** o yeah

 **mother:** sorry it took so long daehwi knows a guy who knows a guy who knows your guy and we had to play telephone for a little bit to get the info across and actually figure out who he was

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** you know class lists exist, right

 **main visual:** thanks, captain obvious

**[ danimal ] changed [ mother ]’s nickname to [ world’s best mother ]**

**danimal:** i checked it like the second time i missed class and only like three people had pictures attached to their profiles and none of them were him, so

 **world’s best mother:** oh my,,,,,  
**world’s best mother:** wait  
**world's best mother:** why wasnt i world's best mother in the first place i do a lot of shit for you guys

 **main visual:** name one thing u have ever done for me

 **world's best mother:** stopped you from getting punched in the throat by sungwoon

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** it still might happen,, we just dont know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. i just realized every instance i used ong's name i spelled it wrong,,, like how (i went back and fixed it now tho)
> 
> 2\. sorry this took so long!! i got busy with school, then i got writer's block, then i got sick, and i became a kor-eng translator for [fyloona](http://fyloona.tumblr.com/)! in short ive had a very busy (almost) two weeks haha
> 
> 3\. also i made a [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/chickguans) so you guys can talk to me (also because i usually create too much story and background and can't always fit it in, so you could ask stuff about that too (like how everyone became friends, background relationships, everyone's majors, etc))!


	9. thursday

**[ eunwoo just Did That™ (7) ]**

**ong no u didnt:** i made accidental eye contact with he who shall not be named today  
**ong no u didnt:** and he smiled at me  
**ong no u didnt:** time 2 fake my own death  
**ong no u didnt:** and flee the country 

 **an actual literal baby:** I didn’t know you had classes with Voldemort, Hyung

 **ong no u didnt:** sanha,,,  
**ong no u didnt:** what are u doing here  
**ong no u didnt:** i thought someone kicked u out already  
**ong no u didnt:** also that joke is so bad  
**ong no u didnt:** but i cant stop thinking about daniel without a nose now tho  
**ong no u didnt:** oh god what have u done 

 **an actual literal baby:** Nope, I am still here  
**an actual literal baby:** Just lurking...  
**an actual literal baby:** Getting all the hot gossip 

 **dontyeon:** what hot gossip ? 

 **beanie baby:** where is the hot gossip u speak of  
**beanie baby:** the only hot gossip we've had in weeks is the dick debacle and that's getting kinda old now

 **an actual literal baby:** Well I learned that Bin and Eunwoo hyungs were dating  
**an actual literal baby:** Minhyuk-hyung you owe me $50

 **dwayne johnson:** damn i thought u forgot about the bet  
**dwayne johnson:** it's been like four years how do u still remember it

 **beanie baby:** you?? bet on me and eunwoo???

 **an actual literal baby:** Yes I did and I’m $50 richer now, so thanks  
**an actual literal baby:** Also that this group chat is a cesspool filled with repressed feelings and emotions, you all need to work on that (especially you, Seongwoo-hyung)

 **ong no u didnt:** i didnt come here to be attacked by an infant

 **an actual literal baby:** And that Minhyuk-hyung has beef with Jihoon-hyung from like high school or something, I’m not sure why or how it started but it exists

 **dwayne johnson:** wait how do you know abt my jihoon beef i didnt tell anyone about that except bin

 **#1 army:** u have beef w/ someone,,, why didnt u tell me,,  
**#1 army:** wait is jihoon the kid u always look like u wanna murder at practice all the time

 **dontyeon:** jihoon, who is also your roommate, jihoon?

 **dwayne johnson:** yes and yes

 **#1 army:** how have you not killed him yet

 **dwayne johnson:** woojin would kill me if i killed jihoon  
**dwayne johnson:** and i dont wanna die  
**dwayne johnson:** also i dont want to go to jail

 **ong no u didnt:** fair enough

 **dontyeon:** explain the beef i wanna know now

 **dwayne johnson:** not to disappoint but i honestly dont remember what the beef was about except that it started in year one,, so like four years ago  
**dwayne johnson:** but his visage just fills me with pure rage  
**dwayne johnson:** idk why  
**dwayne johnson:** i feel like the beef had something to do with dancing but i dont know

 **#1 army:** i’m disappointed

 **dwayne johnson:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **ong no u didnt:** oh i just remembered there's a party tomorrow night at minki’s  
**ong no u didnt:** is anyone down for it? 

 **#1 army:** i would but i dont want to die at practice tomorrow because knowing you ur gonna wanna play drinking games or smth and im gonna get roped in

 **dwayne johnson:** same

 **beanie baby:** hard same

 **ong no u didnt:** u guys suck but are also probably right  
**ong no u didnt:** but minhyun said dongho is going and if dongho’s going then hyunwoo is going and if hyunwoo is going what if he gets shitfaced and has a hangover and cancels practice????

 **#1 army:** we both know hyunwoo-sunbae is only going to prevent the drunk disaster that is lee minhyuk

 **ong no u didnt:** wait how do you know minhyuk

 **dwayne johnson:** he comes to practices sometimes to “encourage us and keep up group morale”, as he once said  
**dwayne johnson:** mostly by doing fanchants and yelling compliments

 **beanie baby:** he also bought us all donuts once

 **ong no u didnt:** tbh that sounds like him  
**ong no u didnt:** but doyeon? Eunwoo?  
**ong no u didnt:** pls u guys are my only hope

 **dontyeon:** i have stuff to do, suddenly

 **ong no u didnt:** i thought it was just three fake bitches in this gc, but it was four  
**ong no u didnt:** cmon my man eunwoo pull through

 **cha cha slide:** I have tutoring of Fridays, sorry Hyung.

 **ong no u didnt:** i cant believe this  
**ong no u didnt:** my own squad  
**ong no u didnt:** doing me dirty like this

 **an actual literal baby:** I’ll go with you, Hyung

 **ong no u didnt:** my only ally in this gc,,,,  
**ong no u didnt:** u know sanha for the record i would actually bring you, but:  
**ong no u didnt:** 1\. ur mom would kill me  
**ong no u didnt:** 2\. you have a curfew  
**ong no u didnt:** 3\. ur not old enough to drink  
**ong no u didnt:** 4\. ur mom would actually literally kill me  
**ong no u didnt:** 5\. i dont want to corrupt ur sweet, sweet innocence  
**ong no u didnt:** 6\. if im drunk i cant prevent u getting hit on by drunk assholes

 **an actual literal baby:** It's the thought that counts, Hyung

 **ong no u didnt:** i will take you next year tho  
**ong no u didnt:** when i am a Responsible Senior and you are a Baby Freshman  
**ong no u didnt:** but now i need 2 kick u out now bc i am about to say something i dont want your baby ears to hear

 **an actual literal baby:** Minhyuk-hyung will tell me later anyway, so…

 **ong no u didnt:** minhyuk how dare u disobey the confidentiality of this gc

 **d** **wayne johnson:** i never signed a nondisclosure agreement so nothing can be held against me

 **ong no u didnt:** you slippery bastard  
**ong no u didnt:** ur right  
**ong no u didnt:** but everyone say bye to sanha

 **dontyeon:** bye sanha!!!

 **dwayne johnson:** bye

 **cha cha slide:** Goodbye Sanha!

 **#1 army:** bye sanha

 **beanie baby:** goodbye you literal infant

 **an actual literal baby:** Goodbye Hyungs and Noonas!!

**[ ong no u didnt ] kicked [ an actual literal baby ] out of the chat**

**ong no u didnt:** okay real talk i wasnt gonna invite y'all to minki’s party in the first place but there's a chance that daniel could be there and i dont trust drunk me enough to not do something stupid

 **beanie baby:** u werent gonna invite us?? rude

 **ong no u didnt:** well i assumed dongho would invite everyone from the cover group, per minki’s request

 **beanie baby:** ur not wrong but still

 **#1 army:** so basically you just wanted someone to babysit you

 **ong no u didnt:** unfortunately, yes

 **#1 army:** i could ask nayoung-unnie to do it if you want, she usually babysits kyulkyung-unnie when they go to parties  
**#1 army:** she once had to pry kyulkyung-unnie from a chandelier

 **beanie baby:** wow kyulkyung gets turnt huh

 **dontyeon:** i'm actually surprised she hasnt gotten arrested yet while intoxicated

 **#1 army:** she hasnt bc of nayoung-unnie

 **dontyeon:** u right

 **ong no u didnt:** i feel like nayoung has her hands full with just kyulkyung  
**ong no u didnt:** also me and her together when were drunk?? a mess  
**ong no u didnt:** i remember she once tried to convince me to do a body shot off of jonghyun  
**ong no u didnt:** but i did not want minhyun to Murder me so i declined

 **#1 army:** that sounds like her  
**#1 army:** she loves drama  
**#1 army:** you could pay her like $12 and a cheeseburger to start something

 **beanie baby:** time 2 file that away for future use

 **cha cha slide:** Bin.

 **beanie baby:** suddenly i dont know a kyulkyung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wait until friday it's abt to get spicy ;)))


	10. friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just fyi: this chapter includes drinking/ong getting drunk (he's drunk at the start of the chapter and there's discussions of drinking/drunkeness (? is that a word? idk))

**[ kim jongin & peter parker (2) ]**

**kim jongin:** duck uou yoojings  
**kim jongin:** i n ow u said uo couldnt fo to the partu becausw you haven pracntice in theam  
**kim jongin:** [voicemessage.mp3]  
**kim jongin:** whopos  
**kim jongin:** i dodnt mean ot send atha  
**kim jongin:** jinjin andnmj hyung ditcjed me to go makeour and now im all alopnr  
**kim jongin:** who an i supposdd to complaine to abot my chrusb noow,,,,  
**kim jongin:** hes here andb wearinb the mochaelangelo marbel asd patns  
**kim jongin:** in cryinf he lookd sobgoodd  
**kim jongin:** like i liertally crued in th e bathrooomm becayse of hdi asd  
**kim jongin:** his thivghs tooooo  
**kim jongin:** uuuggfhhjhggffghf  
**kim jongin:** i wabt him ot vrush ny head wuth his thightsss  
**kim jongin:** that's gow i wannva go  
**kim jongin:** thr ideal wau to go tbh  
**kim jongin:** in rhe seeet embarace if those hige thighs

**peter parker:** i would like to say that i understood everything you wrote but that would make me a liar  
**peter parker:** but are you okay? I'm going to go ahead and assume you’ve been drinking and are pretty drunk right now because i don't think anyone could make that many typos without being under the influence of something. correct me if i’m wrong? 

**kim jongin:** mi maybe a litle drink  
 **kim jongin:** but >m peachy  
 **kim jongin:** oh myd og i judt tmembered thay lay wtote a song cslled peach abojt the bootu  
 **kim jongin:** my swett china pronce,, wtote a song abt gettin gthe booty  
 **kim jongin:** in enflush too like i hadf to loik up thelhrics like msn  
 **kim jongin:** lime i could see sehon writin ga somg about ass but no t yixing ny man, hes doo sweet

**peter parker:** i thought you liked jongin, though?

**kim jongin:** yicing is my swett baby  
**kim jongin:** kais mydaddy  
**kim jongin:** donr kinksmahe me  
**kim jongin:** i donf actuaklu have adaddy konk  
**kim jongin:** but if he askedd mmmm u betcha

**peter parker:** i feel like i didnt need to be privy to that information  
 **peter parker:** also i dont know if this is overstepping my bounds bc we established this friendship in like, being anonymous, and even though we've only talked like twice i am concerned for your wellbeing. and since we go to the same school and i know minki-hyung is the only person (that i know of) throwing a party tonight, i'm assuming you're at this party too and are somewhere in this house, shitfaced, texting me  
 **peter parker:** i mean, unless you're at home getting shitfaced, or at a different party, which is like totally fine and i shouldnt assume things, i just want to make sure you're safe and havent been like roofied or something

**kim jongin:** thats nsod many worjds  
**kim jongin:** giveme a nmoment

**kim jongin:** okay im ba ck  
**kim jongin:** 1\. yes  
**kim jongin:** 2\. bathron  
**kim jongin:** 4\. no  
**kim jongin:** oh muydof two peoplejsit cameninto the batjroom eatomg eavj othersf aces whyyyyyyyyyyy  
**kim jongin:** iT WAS MYUNGJIN EHY  
**kim jongin:** WHY  
**kim jongin:** MU EYEYS  
**kim jongin:** I JUSY WNAT TO ENJOY MY BAGROOM SOKUTUDE IN PEACE  
**kim jongin:** CAN A MAM NOT ENJOU HOMSELF DRINK I B A. BATHRIB

**peter parker:** how many ways can one misspell bathroom  
**peter parker:** also you could lock the door? i mean it's a bathroom and it shouldn't be locked because someone might need to use it but i know minki-hyung has two other bathrooms

**kim jongin:** snart

**peter parker:** i’m going to assume you meant to say smart

**kim jongin:** yeha

**peter parker:** also bathrib? Is that supposed to be bathroom or bathtub?

**kim jongin:** bahtirb  
**kim jongin:** bathrob  
**kim jongin:** bathrub  
**kim jongin:** bahtrub  
**kim jongin:** b a t h  u b

**peter parker:** yeah i got that after the first two  


**peter parker:** well now i that i know that you’re in one of three bathrooms i feel like i’m obligated to come and find you and make you drink at least two glasses of water so you wont have a terrible hangover tomorrow. like it’s the least i could do as a decent human being

**kim jongin:** hats,,,really noise

**peter parker:** on my way now with two water bottles

**peter parker:** you really did lock the door  
 **peter parker:** please let me in

**kim jongin:** how do9 know itsrelly u

**peter parker:** i’ll knock three times and say “peter parker”  
**peter parker:** doing it now

**kim jongin:** oHDgemy youjunf pls helo  
 **kim jongin:** SOS im.in dist ur ess

**peter parker:** you...know you’re still in the same chat right?

**kim jongin:** oh ufck  
**kim jongin:** fuciks   
**kim jongin:** exucseme 1 min pls

**peter parker:** um, okay. I’ll just, you know, wait on the other side of the door until you get back to me since, you know, its locked and all

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

**[ eunwoo just Did That™ (6) ]**

**[ ong no u didnt ] changed the chat name to [ pls dhelp ong seuongwooo ]**

**ong no u didnt:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
**ong no u didnt:** FICK FUCKKS SUCKDN  
**ong no u didnt:** ONE 9F YOUWHAS TONEBW AWAKE JIEKP ME  
**ong no u didnt:** I ACIIIDENTLLAU MAKDE FRIENDS NWOTHN KANG NDNAIEL ANDNNWNOW HESS TRYIJH TO BE MIVE TOME JELP O DLK WHAT TO DO  
**ong no u didnt:** IM ABLITRWDY 2 JUMP EOUT THIS BATHROOKM WIRNDOWO SMOEONE COME SBAVE MEN  
**ong no u didnt:** PELALE  
**ong no u didnt:** NOB UNONWKO WHAT?  
**ong no u didnt:** IM GNAN FACE THIADMAN CRUSH OKAY  
**ong no u didnt:** WISH MELIKCK WHAT CAN FO WRONFM

**ong no u didnt:** fuxk hamy yand a are shkinh rally bd  
**ong no u didnt:** odont knwo if i can do dthis  
**ong no u didnt:** nO I GOTRA I CAM DO IT U CAN DO IT ING

  
  
  
**cha cha slide:** I believe in you, Hyung. You can do it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to read this chapter (sans ong's typos) and understand everything he said, [click here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OLke0zWnRa1n-dmd4LPAXN2bcaFIZRhxoJP0E0UeEHM/edit?usp=sharing)!


	11. saturday, pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, yeah? the beautiful mv made me fucking cry. what the fuck ymc
> 
>  
> 
> also realistically i have no idea how long this fic is gonna be, i'm kinda going by feel atm and when i feel like we've got enough closure for everything that has happened, i'll end it? that being said this'll probably end up with a heck ton of chapters
> 
> also also minhyuk changed his name to "ROCK"

**[ pls dhelp ong seuongwooo (6) ]**

**beanie baby:** hyung u had a wild night huh  
 **beanie baby:** u know what that means

**[ beanie baby ] changed [ ong no u didnt ]’s nickname to [ ong yes u did ]**

**beanie baby:** i mean probably  
 **beanie baby:** im assuming

 **#1 army:** he sent me some texts after he sent those last night i that i think he meant to send here but i cant decipher what any of them say  
 **#1 army:** i need like a cipher or something

 **beanie baby:** send them anyway i wanna see

 **#1 army:** [screenshot_2334.png]

 **beanie baby:** oh jesus christ  
 **beanie baby:** what the fuck  
 **beanie baby:** is that even korean

 **ROCK:** how did eunwoo-hyung even read that last night

 **beanie baby:** eunwoo where r u  
 **beanie baby:** help us solve this cipher that is drunk hyung

 **cha cha slide:** I would love to help, but even I don’t know what that says.

 **beanie baby:** at least you tried  
 **beanie baby:** okay i should get back to practice or hyunwoo hyung will crush me with his huge biceps

 **ROCK:** he’s too nice for that but okay same probably

 

 **ong yes u did:** i feel like death  
 **ong yes u did:** someone kill me it would be less painful than this  
 **ong yes u did:** i regret last night’s choices

 **ong yes u did:** SOS !!!!!!!!  
 **ong yes u did:** I AM IN SOME STRANGER’S HOUSE HELP  
 **ong yes u did:** OH GOD  
 **ong yes u did:** WHAT IF I WAS KIDNAPPED  
 **ong yes u did:** im going to live text this as evidence in case i was actually kidnapped and someone tries to murder me  
 **ong yes u did:** im going upstairs now  
 **ong yes u did:** oh wait nevermind im at minki’s house i’ve just never been in his basement lmao  
 **ong yes u did:** he’s got a sweet futon down here  
 **ong yes u did:** okay so i havent been kidnapped we all good

 **ong yes u did:** oH MY GO D SOMEONE JSU TOUCHED ME  
 **ong yes u did:** I LAID BACK DOWN ON THE FUON AFTER GETTING SOME ASPRIN AND CHUGGING A WATER BOTTLE AND APPARENTLLY THERE WAS SOEMONE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FUTON COMPLETELY COVER WITH A BLANKET THAT I DIDNT REALIZE? WAS THERE/??  
 **ong yes u did:** I AM BEING SPOONED BY A STRANGER

 **dontyeon:** check and see who’s spooning you i wanna know who it is

 **ong yes u did:** well duh im just not gonna lay here and get spooned at 10:42 am without knowing who it is

 **dontyeon:** also good morning

 **ong yes u did:** good morning to u too doyeon

 **ong yes u did:**  K A N G D A N I E L  
 **ong yes u did:** I AM BEING SPOONED BY  KANG FUCKING DANIEL  
 **ong yes u did:** QHRA THE FUCK DID I DOLAST NIGHT  
 **ong yes u did:** I HAVE NO MEMBEROY OF ANYTHING FUCK  
 **ong yes u did:** WHAT THE FUCK???????

 **dontyeon:** check ur texts  
 **dontyeon:** you always text people when ur drunk so u might find some clues as to what happened last night

 **ong yes u did:** okay that’s smart i should do that  
 **ong yes u did:** in the meANTIME IM GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK

 **ong yes u did:** hi yes? this just in: someone fucking murder me i want to die

 **dontyeon:** i take it you found something?

 **ong yes u did:** yes  
 **ong yes u did:** to preface this: i made friends with this person whose number i found in a bathroom stall on campus but i did not know at the time he was kang fucking daniel or i wouldve Nyoomed the fuck out of there  
 **ong yes u did:** also i think he was at the top of my recent chats so i thought he was yoojung’s chat or i just missed when clicking??  
 **ong yes u did:**  dont judge me for my poor life choices

 **dontyeon:**  i didnt say anything

 **ong yes u did:** [screenshot_4008.png]  
 **ong yes u did:** [screenshot_4009.png]  
 **ong yes u did:** [screenshot_4010.png]  
 **ong yes u did:** [screenshot_4011.png]  
 **ong yes u did:** [screenshot_4012.png]  
 **ong yes u did:** and then whatever i said here happened  
 **ong yes u did:** im really goign to have to drop out i cant face kang daniel ever again in my life i cant believe this happened to me, of all people  
 **ong yes u did:** oH GOD HE JUST FUCKING NIUZZLED INTO MMY BACK IM LITERALLY GOIG TO DIE

 **dontyeon:** oh wow  
 **dontyeon:** how did u not realize it wasn’t yoojung? like he literally said he wasnt her

 **ong yes u did:** i Dont Know

 **#1 army:** that is a fucking ride  
 **#1 army:** im suddenly glad you didnt text me like you meant to  
 **#1 army:** also i didnt need to know u had a daddy kink

 **dontyeon:**  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **ROCK:** i cant believe you spent that party wasted in a bathtub

 **ong yes u did:** wow i am totally feeling the love in this gc rn  
 **ong yes u did:** also?? dont u have practice right now???? why are you here

 **beanie baby:**  hyunwoo-hyung let us out early  
 **beanie baby:** also that’s fucking wild hyung  
 **beanie baby:** the nickname change is fitting

 **cha cha slide:** Hyung what are you going to do when he wakes up?

 **ong yes u did:** eunwoo my man asking the relevant questions  
 **ong yes u did:** i have no fucking clue  
 **ong yes u did:** im scared to move for fear of waking him

 **cha cha slide:** Also, do you think you really confessed to him? There’s the time missing between your last text and latest text to the group chat where we don’t know what happened.

 **ROCK:** he probably chickened out last minute and didnt  
 **ROCK:** but then again there is the fact that you are literally being spooned by him?

 **ong yes u did:** Oh God  
 **ong yes u did:** im gonna lay here and wait for death to embrace me  
 **ong yes u did:** i was so focused on the fact that i am being Spooned by kang daniel that i did not think about the possibility that i was like “hey i think you’re attractive and nice and i would really like to hold hands with you if that’s cool and maybe makeout if ur down for it” to him last night  
 **ong yes u did:** i knew i couldnt trust drunk me

 **cha cha slide:** But isn’t it a good thing if you confessed?

 **ong yes u did:** well yeah i guess if he accepted the hypothetical confession  
 **ong yes u did:** but i dont wanna stick around to find out i dont want to get my heart broken  
 **ong yes u did:** oH FUCK I THINK HES WAKING UP WHAT DO I DO

 **#1 army:** accept ur fate

 **cha cha slide:** Ask him if you confessed, Hyung.

 **beanie baby:** excuse urself to the bathroom to avoid confrontation

 **ROCK:** run  
 ****

 **dontyeon:** confess for real


	12. saturday, pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a new squad is introduced (95 line squad, minus ong and nayoung but plus aron) and the (brief) return of ioi!
> 
> \- baby spice >> minki  
> \- animorph >> dongho  
> \- aron/aaron/erin >> aron  
> \- hey demons >> jeonghan  
> \- it's me ya boy >> joshua  
> \- [wheeze] >> seungcheol  
> \- hyun1 >> jonghyun  
> \- hyun2 >> minhyun  
> (also the link in chapter is real, click it)

**[ where u @ tho (8) ]**

**baby spice:** what's up losers

 **aron/aaron/erin:** how are you alive rn  
**aron/aaron/erin:** i swear i saw you ascend to the astral plane last night

 **baby spice:** u know i may have  
**baby spice:** i would not be surprised

 **hey demons:** how would you even see that

 **animorph:** Are you insinuating that minki died and came back to life

 **aron/aaron/erin:** as the Parental Figure and Eldest Hyung, i see many things beyond the Human Realm  
**aron/aaron/erin:** like bigfoot eating mcdonalds out of a dumpster

 **[wheeze]:** is that why i see mothman flying around lotte castle

 **aron/aaron/erin:** probably  
**aron/aaron/erin:** unless mothra has flown over the ocean from japan to south korea

 **hey demons:** so he's like jesus, if jesus was into throwing lavish and wild parties  
**hey demons:** minki not bigfoot or mothra

 **it's me, ya boy:** jesus was into throwing lavish and wild parties tho like he had parties with homeless people and prostitutes and could literally turn water into wine  
**it's me, ya boy:** also how do u know bigfoot and mothra aren’t having wild parties in the woods

 **[wheeze]:** i want an invite if they are

 **aron/aaron/erin:** me too

 **[wheeze]:** who else wants an invite to the cryptid rave in the forest

 **hyun1:** count me in

 **It’s me, ya boy:** i mean, i might as well

 **aron/aaron/erin:** on an unrelated note to jesus minki and cryptid raves: i watched my first episode of spongebob squarepants in korean last night and i want to die  
**aron/aaron/erin:** south korea why would you do that

 **hey demons:** what are you talking about

 **it's me, ya boy:** what did south korea do to spongebob

 **aron/aaron/erin:** you dont want to know

 **it's me, ya boy:** Aaron, tell me what South Korea did to Spongebob.

 **aron/aaron/erin:** just remember you asked for this josh  
**aron/aaron/erin:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jaxf8Su68U ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jaxf8Su68U)

**[wheeze]:** i see nothing wrong with this what’s wrong with it, it’s just the spongebob intro

 **it's me, ya boy:** i have Regret  
**it's me, ya boy:** i suddenly cant live here anymore im packing my bags and moving back to LA it was nice knowing you all bye

 **hey demons:** i don’t see what’s wrong with it???

 **it's me, ya boy:** Everything

 **aron/aaron/erin:** hey minki quick q

 **baby spice:** ye

 **aron/aaron/erin:** where the fuck are you

 **baby spice:** where the fuck are you  
**baby spice:**?

 **aron/aaron/erin:** i’m at your house  
**aron/aaron/erin:** i was bringing you breakfast  
**aron/aaron/erin:** and you are not here  
**aron/aaron/erin:** there are people still sleeping here though

 **baby spice:** Oh.  
**baby spice:** i am out  
**baby spice:** eating breakfast  
**baby spice:** with  
**baby spice:** 2hyun and dongho

 **aron/aaron/erin:** I…  
**aron/aaron/erin:** feel so betrayed how could you all go out to breakfast without me  
**aron/aaron/erin:** my own squad,, doing me dirty like this

 **hyun2:** Sorry, Hyung

 **baby spice:** sorry hyung

 **animorph:** Sorry hyung

 **hyun1:** sorry hyung

 **hey demons:** wow,,,, this is,,  
**hey demons:** oddly reminiscent of the time cheollie and shua Left me to get dinner

 **[wheeze]:** hannie that was five months ago are you really still holding that against us?  
**[wheeze]:** you were asleep and we didnt want to wake you up

 **it's me, ya boy:** and you would've just went back to sleep if we did try and wake you up

 **[wheeze]:** and we even brought you some back!!

 **hey demons:** yea i know but i’m still salty

 **baby spice:** is that literally the only drama in your relationship for the past five months that you have to hold onto it to hold it against them?

 **hey demons:** yea p much  
**hey demons:** literally the most drama we have is fighting over who gets to sleep where on the bed and eating all of each other’s cereal  
**hey demons:** my boys are too sweet (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

 **it's me, ya boy:** aww

 **baby spice:** awwwww

 **[wheeze]:** damn right aww

 **baby spice:** me on the other hand: spicy af  
**baby spice:** i think i accidentally broke up two couples, made two boys gay, and got three separate couples to hook up last night  
**baby spice:** which is new personal record,,  
**baby spice:** and no im still not counting the time i dressed as a girl bc girl me is more powerful that boy me will ever be,, i respect her so much  
**baby spice:** oh sidenote: hyung are you still at my house?

 **aron/aaron/erin:** unfortunately

 **baby spice:** could you check to see how many people are still in my house?

 **aron/aaron/erin:** …..if i was a meaner man i would’ve said no

 **baby spice:** tysm hyung!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

 **aron/aaron/erin:** starting in the living room: mingyu is face down on the couch, snoring  
**aron/aaron/erin:** i think siyeon is sleeping in ur bed

 **baby spice:** oh she moved from the floor?

 **aron/aaron/erin:** i guess so  
**aron/aaron/erin:** like it looks like her but i cant be too sure, she's like completely covered all i can see is her hair  
**aron/aaron/erin:** oh it looks like sungyeon and kyla are in there too  
**aron/aaron/erin:** it’s a baby burrito

 **baby spice:** take a picture i want to see my sweet daughters looking all cuddly n shit

 **aron/aaron/erin:** that's creepy but okay  
**aron/aaron/erin:** [syklsycuddling.png]

 **baby spice:** awww

 **aron/aaron/erin:** nayoung and kyulkyung are in guest room 1 (ny awake, kk not)  
**aron/aaron/erin:** vernon and seungkwan are in guest room 2 (both asleep)  
**aron/aaron/erin:** oh chan is in there too, but he’s on an air mattress  
**aron/aaron/erin:** all of the bathrooms are thankfully void of humans  
**aron/aaron/erin:** aaand there’s two people i dont know on the futon downstairs  
**aron/aaron/erin:** one dude looks like he’s having an existential crisis while the other is just spooning the dude

 **baby spice:** please tell me they’re both wearing clothes  
**baby spice:** i mean they’re probably one of the couples i hooked up last night and if they got it, great for them, but have some decency guys  
**baby spice:** i cant wash a whole fucking futon

 **aron/aaron/erin:** yeah they are  
**aron/aaron/erin:** at least existential crisis dude is  
**aron/aaron/erin:** idk abt the other dude  
**aron/aaron/erin:** i just made accidental eye contact with existential crisis dude as i was backing up the stairs  
**aron/aaron/erin:** his eyes are screaming for help  
**aron/aaron/erin:** sorry dude ur own ur own idk how to help you

 **hey demons:** rip

 **hyun2:** RIP

 **baby spice:** rip in fucking pieces

 

☆ ☆ ☆

 

**[ this is why we cant have nice things (11) ]**

**zhou me the money:** i have some regrets

 **Actress Kim:** Like?

 **zhou me the money:** too much alcohol  
**zhou me the money:** hangover is trying to murder me  
**zhou me the money:** want to let it kill me so i can end my suffering

 **sadly not myoui:** and?

 **zhou me the money:** not being able to convince nayoung unnie to let me do a body shot off of her

 **sadly not myoui:** tragic

 **cosmic girl:** fucking rip my dude

 **zhou me the money:** ikr like

 **Clueless (2005):** Did you do anything you don’t regret?

 **zhou me the money:** helped minki oppa get together some couples  
**zhou me the money:** got seungwoo oppa fucking smashed and had a heart 2 heart abt kang daniel w him  
**zhou me the money:** discovered that i could lick my elbow

 **illegirl:** unnie you did what now

 **zhou me the money:** licked my elbow?

 **illegirl:** no before that  
**illegirl:** about seungwoo

 **zhou me the money:** oh we had a heart to heart abt daniel  
**zhou me the money:** did u know he talks a lot when he’s drunk?  
**zhou me the money:** he really waxed some poetics abt daniel’s thighs and ass  
**zhou me the money:** i shouldve recorded it  
**zhou me the money:** a couple shots and a bottle of soju really got to him lmao  
**zhou me the money:** i actually convinced him to do a body shot off daniel  
**zhou me the money:** but he left me to go to the bathroom & didnt return so i just assumed he found daniel and worked things out with him or whatevs  
**zhou me the money:** did that body shot & all

 **illegirl:** Thank you Unnie  
**illegirl:** for real

 **zhou me the money:**???

 **illegirl:** don’t question it just accept it

 **zhou me the money:**????????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate the korean intro theme to spongebob it haunts my life and i regret ever looking it up this is what i get for wanting to learn a language i Regret
> 
> (also i promise hyung line squad is next dont worry i didnt forget abt them)


	13. saturday, pt. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i know i said hyung line gc was next,,,, but,,,,, this is important
> 
> \- cat dad >> daniel  
> \- #1 mom >> jisung
> 
> also happy (american) thanksgiving guys!!

**[ that piano cat vine (2) ]**

**cat dad:** hyung i think i fucked up

 **#1 mom:** ??? how  
**#1 mom:** what did you do

 **cat dad:** you know how i went to that party last night?

 **#1 mom:** yeah   
**#1 mom:** is everything okay?   
**#1 mom:** did something happen?   
**#1 mom:** do you want me to come over?   
  
**cat dad:** no hyung i'm fine   
**cat dad:** but something did kind of happen? everything is just confusing and i didnt know who else to talk to. i mean, i could talk to minhyun, but i want to talk to someone who's unbiased   
  
**#1 mom:** oh daniel  
**#1 mom:** I'm always here to talk, okay?   
**#1 mom:** what's troubling you?   
**#1 mom:** also why would minhyun be biased

 **cat dad:** it’s kind of a long story

 **#1 mom:** i have l i t e r a l l y nothing else to do on this fine saturday afternoon  
**#1 mom:** lay it on me

 **cat dad:** okay  
**cat dad:** thanks, by the way

 **#1 mom:** yeah man it’s no problem

 **cat dad:** okay so it kind of starts my freshman year? but not really, like that is not where this problem is focused, but that’s where it kind of began. so i took intro to english and there was this guy in my class that (at the time) i didnt know i was attracted to, since this was like pre my self discovery. i just thought i really wanted to be bros or whatever   
**cat dad:** but obviously i was an idiot and basically did nothing. pined from afar without realizing that i was pining, but then fast forward two years and there’s this dude in my english literature class that looks weirdly familiar  
**cat dad:** anyways, you know what happens from there with that but something else happened. you know how sungwoon put my number on that bathroom stall? some guy texted me to let me know it was there and we talked a little bit and i found out he goes to yecheneung (i mean, obviously, where else would he go that he would be on the fourth floor of the language building at 11am) and we kinda become pseudo-friends    
**cat dad:** but then the party happens and find out that the person i’ve been texting is actually seongwoo, because he drunk texts me meaning to text someone else (i think, like i’m pretty sure he meant to text his friend yoojung, you know the one who got his textbook from me) while he was at the same party last night and obviously im concerned so i go to check on him only to find out that he is seongwoo. as in, the guy from my intro to english and english literature classes

 **#1 mom:** OH

 **cat dad:** yeah

 **#1 mom:** sorry it just hit me like a bus  
**#1 mom:** wow this is wild  
**#1 mom:** okay continue sorry for interrupting

 **cat dad:** it’s okay  
**cat dad:** but he was absolutely smashed so i couldnt just leave him by himself? like what if he threw up and choked on it and died or something? like i’d feel semi responsible for his death if that happened  
**cat dad:** so i made him drink lots of water and moved him from the bathtub he was occupying to minki-hyung’s futon downstairs and...some stuff..happened…..but now that i think about last night i feel like i messed up, like big time

 **#1 mom:** what kind of stuff?  
**#1 mom:** daniel did you...

 **cat dad:** no no no it isn’t like that  
**cat dad:** seongwoo-hyung tried to kiss me, but i wouldn’t let him since he was drunk and i think he mistook me rejecting his drunk advances as him rejecting him. like i didnt want to let him kiss me in case he tried to take it further because then i would’ve felt like i was taking advantage of him  
**cat dad:** but i did sleep on the same futon as him in case something happened so i could be there in case of emergency but when i woke up, he wasnt there

 **#1 mom:** are you sure he just didn’t have somewhere to be? or maybe he wanted to get over the horrible hangover he must have in his own bed? it is like noon, who says he isn’t just in a bathroom relieving himself? there’s no need to panic about this  
**#1 mom:** also why couldn’t you talk to minhyun about this?

 **cat dad:** because minhyun is roommates with seongwoo-hyung

 **#1 mom:** ah  
**#1 mom:** well why don’t you just wait it out? wait for seongwoo to reach out to you first and if he doesn’t then you reach out to him

 **cat dad:** thanks hyung

 **#1 mom:** no problem kid  
**#1 mom:** it’s what i’m here for

 **cat dad:** remind me to treat you to something later okay? seriously you deserve it for being such a great hyung

 **#1 mom:** oh daniel you flatter me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what daniel told jisung happened between him and ong at the party isn't the full story just fyi!! there's still more to come ;-)


	14. sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u may have noticed that we are nearing the End (aka i figured out where to end the story)........ only six more chapters left.......

**[ pls dhelp ong seuongwooo (6) ]**

**beanie baby:** ashdkjhsf you guys will not believe what just happened  
**beanie baby:** okay so me and eunwoo were walking back to campus from our lunch date  
**beanie baby:** and this guy just walks up to us and hands eunwoo a business card  
**beanie baby:** and eunwoo just says “no” and hands him back the card and the guy looks like he’s just wants to fucking die and hands him the card more forcefully before he says “just consider it, please” and walks off and eunwoo just fucking crumples the card and throws it in the nearest trashcan

 **#1 army:** savage

 **ROCK:** tag urself im the guy wanting to fucking die

 **dontyeon:** i am,,, confused,,,,,

 **ong yes u did:** eunwoo my man,,  
**ong yes u did:** i am also confused

 **cha cha slide:** That “guy” was a talent scout from an entertainment company and he’s been trying to recruit me for the past six months.  
**cha cha slide:** Also I have the information memorized, I don’t know why they keep trying to give me business cards.

 **ong yes u did:** oh wow

 **#1 army:** what company?

 **ROCK:** fantagio

 **cha** **cha slide:** Fantagio

 **beanie baby:** fantagio

 **dontyeon:** they probs want u to model for them or smth bc ur so handsome  
**dontyeon:** you'd land so many jobs  
**dontyeon:** just imagine having a cardboard cut of yourself outside of innisfree, advertising a cushion or smth

 **#1 army:** tbh if his cardboard cutout told me to buy a cushion i probably would

 **dontyeon:**  me too

 **beanie baby:** if u get a cardboard cutout can u hook me up with one too

 **cha cha slide:** Why would you want a cardboard cutout of me?  
**cha cha slide:** And they want me to groom me to be an actor, but I’ve told them that I want to finish the majority of my secondary education before I sign any contract with them.

 **beanie baby:** just because……  
**beanie baby:** i'd have to have someone keep me company while my boyfriend is off being beautiful and famous,,,,, being the lead actor in dramas n shit, advertising skincare outside of large chain companies

 **#1 army:** that’s not creepy at all

 **beanie baby:** just u wait yoojung  
**beanie baby:** one day in the future ur gonna have a marginally beautiful and famous gf too and ur gonna want a cardboard cutout of her and once you get that cutout im gonna come into ur home and steal it

 **#1 army:** that's even more creepy  
**#1 army:** i’d charge you with breaking and entering i dont care if we’re friends  
**#1 army:** what would you even do with a cardboard cutout of my future girlfriend  
**#1 army:** also who says i wont be the marginally beautiful and famous gf in this nonexistent relationship  
**#1 army:** and my gf will have a cardboard cutout of me?

 **dontyeon:** she’s got a point

 **beanie baby:** speaking of nonexistent relationships: seongwoo hyung  
**beanie baby:** what happened yesterday after you stopped texting us  
**beanie baby:** which choose your own adventure path did u pick

 **ong yes u did:** i dont know,, suddenly i cant read

 **#1 army:** that means he dipped  
**#1 army:** minhyuk why did you give him the option to run

 **ong yes u did:** why must you betray me like this yoojung

 **#1 army:** it’s for your own good

 **dontyeon:** have either of you talked since then?

 **ong yes u did:** …  
**ong yes u did:** ……no

 **cha cha slide:** You should talk to him, Hyung.

**ong yes u did:** i know  
**ong yes u did:** i’ll do it eventually  
**ong yes u did:** i just gotta work up the courage u know  
**ong yes u did:** psych myself up for the inevitable rejection 

**#1 army:** i doubt that will happen but ok

**ong yes u did:** if ur expectations are rock bottom u wont be disappointed when something bad happens

**dontyeon:** nothing bad is gonna happen  
**dontyeon:** trust me  
**dontyeon:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**ong yes u did:** that face makes me not want to trust you

**ROCK:** hi everyone  
**ROCK:** i was just fucking nerfed by park fucking jihoon

**cha cha slide:** Nerfed?

**ROCK:** nerfed (verb) - the act of being shot with a nerf gun  
**ROCK:** get with the times grandpa

**beanie baby:** hey dont insult my elderly boyfriend

**cha cha slide:** Bin, I'm only a year older than you.

**ROCK:** im gonna fucking strangle him

**beanie baby:** what did eunwoo ever do to you

**ROCK:** not hyung  
**ROCK:** park jihoon

**cha cha slide:** There will be no strangling, please and thank you.

**#1 army:** why do you need 2 strangle him

**ROCK:** bc i just opened the door to his room to let him know that woojin and i were gonna order takeout and he looks like he's sleeping but he just fucking pulls a nerf gun out from under his pillow and shoots me without even looking and says “get out" like what the fuck you fucking asshole  
**ROCK:** like was he gonna do it anyway if it had been woojin??? probably not  
**ROCK:** im being Targeted  
**ROCK:** this is probably payback for me kicking his ass  
**ROCK:** also where the fuck did he even get a nerf gun??????

**dontyeon:** the black market

**#1 army:** the college underground  
**#1 army:** or a trash room  
**#1 army:** we do go to an arts school

**beanie baby:** the only solution is to get your own nerf gun and nerf gun him back when he's least expecting it  
**beanie baby:** like while he's in the shower

**ong yes u did:** locate his bullet stash and steal them all

**#1 army:** or:  
**#1 army:** get one of those sniper guns and camp out on top of a building and wait for him to walk by and just fucking snipe him and leave him wondering where the fuck it came from and who did it

**beanie baby:** that’s evil  
**beanie baby:** do it

**ROCK:** im nerf gun shopping as we speak

**dontyeon:** godspeed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone catch that tiny mbmbam reference


	15. monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am finally free from the dark hole that is finals week!!! (advice: never take three art class in the span of one semester if u dont wanna die)
> 
> also i just need everyone to imagine ong yelling into his pillow, rolling around on his bed, giving himself pep talks, and stressing the fuck out during this chapter. bc he is ok
> 
> on the opposite, daniel is doing lots of deep thinking, deciding what he should and shouldn't tell ong, and taking forever to write (which is killing ong)

 

**[ kim jongin & peter parker (2) ]**

**kim jongin:** hey daniel  
**kim jongin:** i just wanted to say im sorry for whatever i said while i was drunk on friday, and that you had to deal with me being like that  
**kim jongin:** i mean i don’t remember anything that happened  
**kim jongin:** but i know that drunk me makes poor life choices, so i probably did something  
**kim jongin:** so if you dont want to talk to me ever again i understand, it’s cool  
**kim jongin:** thanks for taking care of my shitfaced ass

**peter parker:** oh thank god

**kim jongin:**???

**peter parker:** i thought you hated me or something

**kim jongin:** no ???????  
**kim jongin:** what did i do that would make you think that

**peter parker:** um, it’s kind of complicated...and a long story...

**kim jongin:** give me a play by play  
**kim jongin:** i want to know how badly drunk me fucked up  
**kim jongin:** spare no detail

**peter parker:** are you sure?

**kim jongin:** yes  
**kim jongin:** no matter how much i might regret it or tell you to stop because i cant handle the embarrassment

**kim jongin:** i Need To Know

**peter parker:** okay  
**peter parker:** until where do you remember? so i can get a frame of reference on where to start

**kim jongin:** i have a vague memory of getting into the upstairs bathroom’s bathtub  
**kim jongin:** and everything is gone from that point  
**kim jongin:** but i did read all my texts the next day and can kind of piece together what happened there until we stopped texting each other

**peter parker:** okay i just want to start by saying that i was supposed to be a designated driver on friday but the people i gave a ride to ended up getting their own rides so i didnt drink at all, like i actually ended up refereeing several games of beer pong  
**peter parker:** but i did make you drink those two bottles of water, but in hindsight it was a mistake because you just chugged them back to back and it made you throw up before we could even make it out of the bathroom and i had to prevent you from taking a capful of mouthwash like a shot because apparently “anything that blue has to be alcoholic”  
**peter parker:** and then i had to carry you down the stairs on my back because, quote “the stairs are moving too fast how can anyone walk on those”, but you made me stop in the kitchen so you could talk to minki, minhyun, and jonghyun hyungs, but minhyun and jonghyun hyungs were too busy talking to someone else and minki hyung wasnt paying enough attention to you so you just stole a party sized bag of tortilla chips from his cabinet while making the direct eye contact with him

**kim jongin:** holy fucking shit

**peter parker:**???

**kim jongin:** sorry i just googled what the effects of swallowing mouthwash were and i could have fucking died  
**kim jongin:** thanks for not letting me accidentally murder myself

**peter parker:** um yeah no prob

**kim jongin:** sorry u can go back to telling friday night’s tale

**peter parker:** well after you stole minki hyung’s chips we hung out in the living room for a while and the incohesive group of people unanimously decided to play never have i ever and i think you knew one of the girls playing? because she kept saying things to get you to put down your finger and you said “how do you even know this shit, i am being personally victimized, stop exposing me like this kyulkyung i have a reputation to maintain”, which was surprisingly articulate for a drunk person  
**peter parker:** but after a while you got tired of the game so you tapped out and we just sat and watched the group play before you and you literally slumped against me and fell asleep. i dont know how you did it with the room being so loud but you did, but i made the executive decision to move you somewhere where you could actually sleep (in hindsight i now realize i could’ve just like, called and/or texted the person you talked to most recently to see if they could come and get you from the party if they weren’t there already, but like at the time i did not think of that), deciding to go down to the basement instead of back upstairs because i didn’t want to like, drop you as i was carrying you up the stairs. it’s easier to get a person down then up a flight of stairs. also i didnt want to accidentally walk in on people having sex, so  
**peter parker:** luckily there were like no people in the basement. i think it might have been off limits but i figured since im friends with the hyungs are i assume you are too, we were safe to go downstairs without minki hyung giving us a lifetime ban from his parties forever or something  
**peter parker:** i was about to look around for a blanket and pillow or something since he had a futon downstairs when you grabbed my arm and gave me a panicked look before slapping your hand over your mouth before you started heaving. thankfully there was a bathroom in the basement and you were only dry heaving instead of throwing up again, but you hugged the toilet bowl after and started to cry after and im not sure if it’s because it really hurt or you’re an emotional drunk or what  
**peter parker:** but you wouldnt get off the bathroom floor after that and i literally had sit on the floor and trick you into basically throwing you over my shoulder so i could move you to the futon  
**peter parker:** i went back upstairs to get some more water and find a blanket and when i came back downstairs you were staring off into space, kind of hiccuping (? because of the crying i think?) and im pretty sure i scared the shit out of you when i threw the blanket onto the futon because you jumped and clutched your chest afterwards  
**peter parker:** but i somehow?? convinced you to lay down and sleep but you got stuck in your sweatshirt when you tried to take it off and im not going to lie i watched you struggle with it and laughed a little bit before i helped you pull it off  
**peter parker:** but i got you to lay down and i had to crawl over you to get onto the other side of the futon. i threw the blanket over you but you insisted on sharing it even though i said i wasnt cold, and you turned to face me and got a serious look on your face and said “i have a secret to tell you” and then you sat up and kind of? straddled me? tbh you kind of just crawled into my lap with the grace of a drunk sloth and i had to grab onto you so you didnt smack your head into the wall  
**peter parker:** but after you were firmly planted you grabbed my face and kinda smushed it and i think you were gonna say something but then you remembered you had moles on your face after noticing the one under my eye, which you got really excited about, and then showed me how yours made a triangle and then you started rapping/singing bermuda triangle (?) but forgot half the words, and when your singing trailed off i asked you what the secret you were going to tell me was you mumbled something i couldn't hear so i asked you to repeat yourself, which caused you to firmly plant your hands on my shoulders and say “i like you"  
**peter parker:** but like, i didnt realize you meant it in /that/ way at first so i was just like “okay cool i like you too" and you just let out an annoyed breath tried to kiss me, and then i got it, it clicked, but i stopped you before you could, and then you climbed off of me and went back to your side of the futon  
**peter parker:** and that's pretty much it

**kim jongin:** oh

**peter parker:** yeah

**kim jongin:** um  
**kim jongin:** i feel like i should apologize again  
**kim jongin:** for forcing myself on you

**peter parker:** no no  
**peter parker:** it’s okay, stuff like that happens when you're drunk  
**peter parker:** you dont need to apologize

**kim jongin:** okay

**peter parker:** so we're okay then?

**kim jongin:** yeah  
**kim jongin:** we're okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this just in: ong misinterprets daniel for the second time & gets his feelings hurt again :-(


	16. tuesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyyy peep that pseud change (tbh i've wanted to change it since i made my account so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ in the words of my friend mare: "sometimes u just gotta. yolo. embrace the yolo. be the yolo")
> 
> also can u believe..we havent seen hyung squad all together since chap 8? that's wild
> 
> also also!! dan's nickname is now "a peach"!!

**[ sexy bandit for president (6) ]**

**main visual:** hey  
**main visual:** quick q  
**main visual:** how do u figure out if someone’s gay without asking them or their friends, as to not raise suspicion  
**main visual:** asking for a friend

 **hwang genius:** Is this friend a friend of yours?

 **main visual:** uh  
**main visual:** yea  
**main visual:** why would i ask for someone im not friends with? smh

 **hwang genius:** Oh it could just be a friend of a friend, you know

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** what is this indirect nonsense  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** just @ him next time

 **main visual:** um sure whatever  
**main visual:** just give me the Tips

 **hwang genius:** Stalk their social media profiles  
**hwang genius:** And look for evidence of The Gay ?

 **a peach:** make a gay joke and see if they laugh  
**a peach:** keep it Casual

 **world’s best mother:** use the gaydar, jaehwan  
**world’s best mother:** bc like some people you just Know, u know?

 **a peach:** sick star wars reference

 **world’s best mother:** thanks

 **main visual:** those are the worst tips bc everyone does those  
**main visual:** except daniel’s maybe  
**main visual:** might have 2 pass that one along

 **main visual:** oh Wow  
**main visual:** i cant believe this Betrayal  
**main visual:** my own roommate,,,  
**main visual:** doing me this dirty??

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** what did sewoon do

 **main visual:** he's having a party without me  
**main visual:** in my own home

 **ponyo:** i invited two (2) people over  
**ponyo:** you didnt even know they were here until you left your room and walked into the kitchen and said  
**ponyo:** “hello people who dont live here"

 **a peach:** sick icarly reference

 **main visual:** thanks 4 noticing  
**main visual:** sewoon didnt appreciate my on the spot reference  
**main visual:** he just called me rude

 **ponyo:** sorry i dont watch mediocre american television

 **main visual:** ex-fucking-cuse u icarly is a national treasure

 **a peach:** as an honorary canadian who watched a lot of american television i can attest  
**a peach:** tb fucking h i watched it a whole bunch to help with my english  
**a peach:** which was probably a mistake bc they used a lot of slang that didnt actually exist

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** fucking rip my dude

 **a peach:** ikr  
**a peach:** ugh my break’s over gotta get back to class now which i Do Not want to do  
**a peach:** but highkey someone save me from reading this horrible literature, like i didnt learn the english language to read this garbage

 

☆☆☆

 

 **a peach:** after some deep consideration and deliberation i have come to the conclusion that i am either about to make the best or the worst decision of my life

 **world's best mother:** something even better than adopting peter and rooney?  
**world's best mother:** also aren’t you still in class?

 **a peach:** yeah, for another 15 mins, maybe less if our prof lets us out early  
**a peach:** and i cant believe im saying this  
**a peach:** but yes

 **world's best mother:** h o l y f u c k  
**world’s best mother:** uhh not to be biased or anything but what could possibly be better than your cats

 **ponyo:** someone buying you food

 **main visual:** becoming a sugar baby

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** finding money in ur clothes pockets

 **world’s best mother:** okay point taken  
**world’s best mother:** but seriously what could be better than all the things listed above  
**world’s best mother:** except jaehwan’s option wtf

 **a peach:** i’m going to ask seongwoo hyung out

 **ponyo:** oh wow

 **I HATE YOU ALL:** wait for real?  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** ur gonna ask out the dude who told u had a nice dick?

 **main visual:** uh yeah looks like it my dude

 **world's best mother:** mmMMMMM Fucking Finally  
**world's best mother:** have you talked to him since the party?

 **a peach:** yeah, yesterday

**world's best mother:** and? how did it go? did he text you first?

**a peach:** yeah he did  
**a peach:** and i think it went well? like it definitely didn’t go poorly

**world's best mother:** see what did i tell you

**I HATE YOU ALL:** it seems? as if we are missing some crucial information  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** care to clue us in?

**world's best mother:** oh dan had a wild time at choi minki’s party on friday  
**world's best mother:** but i’m not at liberty to say what went down  
**world's best mother:** that’s dan’s business

**ponyo:** understandable

**I HATE YOU ALL:** no matter how much i wanna know imma respect ur privacy u know im not a total asshole

**main visual:** oh so you admit you’re kind of an asshole

**I HATE YOU ALL:** isn’t everyone

**world’s best mother:** no?  
**world’s best mother:** anyways, daniel, when do you plan on asking seongwoo out?

**a peach:** well i was aiming for as soon as class is over, if i can catch him before he leaves

**world’s best mother:** and what will you do if you miss him?

**a peach:** i have not thought that far ahead

**world’s best mother:** oh lord  
**world’s best mother:** minhyun could you please help us out here, you know seongwoo’s schedule right?

**I HATE YOU ALL:** why tf would minhyun know seongwoo’s schedule

**a peach:** they’re roommates

**main visual:** oh man plot twist

**world’s best mother:** minhyun?

**main visual:** minhyun where tf are u we need u  
**main visual:** we all know u like 2 lurk 

**hwang genius:** Sorry I was busy hanging out with Jonghyun

**I HATE YOU ALL:** oh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**hwang genius:** Shut up, not like that

**I HATE YOU ALL:** mmmhhhmmmm sure   
**I HATE YOU ALL:** i know what u and jonghyun get up to  
**I HATE YOU ALL:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**world’s best mother:** sungwoon stop harassing minhyun  
**world’s best mother:** but you know his schedule right?

**hwang genius:** Not offhand, but I can ask him

**world’s best mother:** okay good you have a plan b now

**a peach:** uh we’re gonna need to go with plan b bc i tripped over someone’s backpack as i tried to go to where seongwoo hyung was sitting as class ended and idk where he went now because as soon as i managed to get out the door i didnt see him anywhere

**world’s best mother:** you’re lucky i exist in your life kang daniel

**a peach:** to be honest  i dont know what i’d do without you


	17. wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dynamic duo of ong and yoojung (yoojong?) is back again !

**[ name a more iconic duo (2) ]**

**wlw:** hey oppa  
**wlw:** are you okay?  
**wlw:** you haven't said anything in the chat for a while but you're reading everything  
**wlw:** i just wanna make sure you're alright dude

**mlm:** yeah im fine  
**mlm:** ive just been busy, you know  
**mlm:** assignments and stuff  
**mlm:** and i think im coming down with something  
**mlm:** ive been sleeping a lot

**wlw:** are you sure it's just that?

**mlm:** yea what else would it be haha

**wlw:** idk im just concerned for u okay  
**wlw:** i talk shit and rip on you a lot but i do care

**mlm:** thanks yoojung

**wlw:** no prob

**wlw:** hey did you ever talk to daniel?  
**wlw:** i know you said u had to work up the courage and i think three days would probably be enough to?

**mlm:** i did  
**mlm:** on monday

**wlw:** oh wow that was quick  
**wlw:** so how did it go?

**mlm:** um  
**mlm:** well

**wlw:** is that supposed to be a good um well or a bad um well

**mlm:** bad

**wlw:** how bad is bad?  
**wlw:** what happened  
**wlw:** do i have to go and kick kang daniel’s ass

**mlm:** yoojung he’d crush you

**wlw:** uh im not dumb enough to go alone  
 **wlw:** now tell me what he did so i can kick his ass 

**mlm:** you dont need to  
**mlm:** he did do anything  
**mlm:** it was me

**wlw:** well uh he sure as hell did something or else u wouldn’t be depressed like this

**mlm:** depressed? i’m not depressed

**wlw:** you havent been in the gc  
**wlw:** you didnt pick up eunwoo’s calls  
**wlw:** i had to ask dongho sunbae to ask minhyun if you were still alive bc i hadnt heard from you  
**wlw:** according to him ur “a sad man in blanket burrito who only leaves the dorm to go to class or get takeout”

**mlm:** okay...maybe…..i am a little bit depressed

**wlw:** admitting it is the first step  
**wlw:** now tell me what daniel did to make you depressed  
**wlw:** also what do kind of takeout do u want imma hit up some place after my last class and bring it over so we can have a Bonding™ moment

**mlm:** chicken  
**mlm:** and i’ll only tell you if you promise not to beat up kang daniel

**wlw:** chimek it is  
 **wlw:** also i promise

**mlm:** uh imma need more than that

**wlw:** [ipromise.mp3]

**mlm:** okay promise accepted  
**mlm:** if u break the promise i’ll expose ur crush on doyeon

**wlw:** if i knew that could be used as blackmail material i wouldve never told you that  
**wlw:** but fine i will stand by my promise instead of kicking his ass anyway like i was going to do  
**wlw:** now tell me what happened

**mlm:** [screenshot_4102.jpg]

**wlw:** I Am Barely Containing My Rage  
**wlw:** that’s the worst way to reject someone  
**wlw:** why didn’t he just say he didn’t like you like that  
**wlw:** before the kiss almost happened  
**wlw:** drunk you is really bad at understanding social perception

**mlm:** it’s okay he’s kinda dense he probably didnt get what i meant   
**mlm:** and i probably  felt the need to express my feelings physically just in case he didnt get it  
**mlm:** but it didnt go as planned

**wlw:** ok but why did he sleep on the futon with you after?  
**wlw:** wasnt doing what he did enough

**mlm:** he probably wanted to make sure i didnt choke on my own vomit and die or something

**wlw:** wow i really want to kick his ass  
**wlw:** god if it wasn’t for your horrible blackmail i’d be on my way to his place of residence as we speak to give him a piece of my mind  
**wlw:** at least let me type out a strongly worded text message that you could forward to him

**mlm:** yoojung it’s okay i’m fine  
**mlm:** he probably doesn’t like boys anyway  
**mlm:** and i’ve wasted my 3 years of my life on this crush all for naught  
**mlm:** crushing on the straights is a Curse™ that the gays will never be free of

**wlw:** u right  
**wlw:** im still gonna get to the bottom of this tho u aint gonna be able to stop me i need 2 know his reasoning

**mlm:** y o o j u n g

**wlw:** i’m not going to Threaten him  
**wlw:** i wont even talk to him  
**wlw:** i’m just going to investigate ok   
****

**mlm:** okay fine i didnt make u promise anything abt that so i guess i have to let u  
****

**wlw:** damn right  
**wlw:** okay time to put on my Sleuth Hat and get down to business  
**wlw:** like sherlock holmes

**mlm:** this feels more like blues clues than sherlock holmes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fyi the screenshot ong sent was the very end of the convo that he had w/ daniel


	18. thursday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a new squad....the dance cover group! not everyone is gonna make an appearance bc like.. that's a lot of people lmao
> 
> the dance cover group (atm) consists of: dongho, aaron, jonghyun (nu'est); hyunwoo (monsta x), bin and minhyuk (astro); nayoung, kyulkyung, siyeon, yaebin (pristin); soonyoung, minghao, junhui, chan (seventeen); yugyeom and bambam (got7); byeongkwan, junhee, yuchan, sehyoon (a.c.e), lisa and chaeyoung (blackpink); woojin and jihoon (wanna one), and yoojung (+ chungha & monsta x's hyungwon and hoseok, who are "ghost members" aka too busy to actually participate but are still a part of the team)
> 
> \- it’s called FASHION look it up >> bambam  
> \- Oppa™ >> lisa  
> \- the handsomer jun >> junhui  
> \- orange >> yuchan  
> \- rock mother >> nayoung  
> \- The Singular Park Minhyuk >> rocky  
> \- i got stolen in despicable me >> bin  
> \- #008 onibugi >> jonghyun  
> \- The Frog Prince >> hyungwon  
> \- the supreme jun >> junhee  
> \- a squid >> byeongkwan  
> \- wow >> sehyoon (lmao original right)  
> \- papa bear >> hyunwoo  
> \- yoo do, yoo won't >> yoojung  
> \- medium woojin >> woojin  
> \- kk ttyl bye >> kyulkyung  
> 

**[ park junhee is a beat pervert (24) ]**

**it’s called FASHION look it up:** someone tell me why ive spent the last five hours watching videos about ant colonies

 **Oppa™:** bc u have no social life

 **it’s called FASHION look it up:** shit u rite

 **Oppa™:** i only speak the truth ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **the handsomer jun:** i am….intrigued  
**the handsomer jun:** hit me up w/ a link

 **it’s called FASHION look it up:** <https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCONd1SNf3_QqjzjCVsURNuA>

**orange:** Y  
**orange:** A  
**orange:** L  
**orange:** L  
**orange:** my mom just sent a huge box of fruit  
**orange:** who wants some fresh genuine jejudo tangerines  
**orange:** bc i aint gonna be able to finish this whole thing  
**orange:** [likeareallybigboxoftangerines.png]

 **rock mother:** Just bring them to practice on Saturday

 **orange:** u expect me  
**orange:** a smol boy  
**orange:** to carry this whole box  
**orange:** all the way cross campus

 **The Singular Park Minhyuk:** yes

 **i got stolen in despicable me:** yes

 **#008 onibugi:** yeah

 **Oppa™:** yup  
****

**rock mother:** Yes

 **The Frog Prince:** you're not that small Chan

 **it’s called FASHION look it up:** you betcha

 **The Frog Prince:** Byeongkwan’s smaller than you

 **a squid:** hEY  
**a squid:** SHUT UP YOU LONG LIMBED FREAK

 **The Frog Prince:** if you can reach my level

 **orange:** wow

 **wow:** what

 **orange:** not you hyung

 **wow:** oh

 **the supreme jun:** wHO CHANGED THE CHAT NAME AFTER I LEFT

 **a squid:** u should be grateful it isn’t something worse

 **the handsomer jun:** lmao really like

 **rock mother:** Someone could’ve changed your nickname you lucked out

 **the supreme jun:** it took me 15 minutes but I just scrolled all the way back up  
**the supreme jun:** Yuchan what do you have to say for yourself  
**the supreme jun:** also don’t give them ideas Nayoung

 **orange:** iT WASNT ME IT WAS HUN HYUNG HE STOLE MY PHONE

 **a squid:** uh huh likely story

 **orange:** HYUNG YOU WERE RIGHT THERE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOLD HIM TO DO IT

 **a squid:** uh huh likely story

 **orange:** i wont stand for this slander

 **it’s called FASHION look it up:** then sit down lmao

 **orange:** a n y w a y s  
**orange:** hyunwoo hyung will you Please help me carry these tangerines lest one of your sons like, idk, break an arm at most or smth

 **papa bear:** Sure

 **yoo do, yoo wont:** hey guys would anyone happen to know if kang daniel likes boys

 **it’s called FASHION look it up:** for why

 **yoo do, yoo wont:** i need 2 prove a theory

 **stone mother:** Yeah

 **#008 onibugi:** can confirm

 **medium woojin:** yea

 **kk ttyl bye:** yeah he’s p gay

 **yoo do, yoo wont:** okay thanks  
**yoo do, yoo wont:** uh yeah this just in boys are fucking dumb

 **kk ttyl bye:** tell us something we dont know

 **Oppa™:** you are Correct yoojung

 **i got stolen in despicable me:** hEY  
**i got stolen in despicable me:** u rite tho

 **medium woojin:** @yoojung this wouldn’t happen to be about The Daniel-Seongwoo Situation would it?

 **yoo do, yoo wont:** uh yes  
**yoo do, yoo wont:** how did you know abt that

 **medium woojin:** meet me in the dms i have something to Discuss with u

 

☆☆☆

 

**[ park woojin ] created a chat with [ choi yoojung ]**

**park woojin:** hey

 **choi yoojung:** uh hey  
**choi yoojung:** what’s up

 **park woojin:** why is daniel fucking dumb  
**park woojin:** i’m not coming @ you  
**park woojin:** i just need to know why he is in this particular instance  
**park woojin:** so what dumb shit did he do this time

 **choi yoojung:** wait how exactly do u know abt this

 **park woojin:** oh yeah right  
**park woojin:** i am friends-adjacent with daniel  
**park woojin:** aka we’re not exactly in the same friend circle but our friends are friends  
**park woojin:** also jaehwan is a gossip  
**park woojin:** so i know everything whether i want to or not bc he is Loud and does not shut up

 **choi yoojung:** u know that actually makes a lot of sense  
**choi yoojung:** the dumb thing daniel did was rejecting seongwoo oppa bc im gonna kick his ass

 **park woojin:** um??  
**park woojin:** where are you getting this information  
**park woojin:** i can literally #confirm that daniel hyung is going to ask out

 **choi yoojung:** what  
**choi yoojung:** do you have any proof that i can lay my eyes on to confirm this for myself

 **park woojin:** uh yeah hang on a sec

 **park woojin:** [screenshot_203.png]  
**park woojin:** this is from two days ago in the main gc, source being jaehwan hyung  
**park woojin:** daniel has also?? apparently had a crush on seongwoo since his freshman year?????

 **choi yoojung:** hey i have a message that i need you to forward to daniel  
**choi yoojung:** just screenshot & crop the following text bubble and send it to him with zero context

 **park woojin:** um okay

 **choi yoojung:** HEY YOU BIG FUCKING DUMB IDIOT: FUCK YOU, LEARN HOW TO CONVEY YOUR EMOTIONS WHEN SENDING TEXTS TO PEOPLE SO THEY DONT MISUNDERSTAND YOU AND GET SAD ABOUT SHIT FOR NO REASON OKAY THANKS IF THIS HAPPENS AGAIN I WILL KICK YOUR ASS YES THAT IS A THREAT  
**choi yoojung:** okay that’s it

 **choi yoojung:** moving on even though daniel is an idiot and i will not hesitate to kick his ass at any moment seongwoo still has a crush on him so i am willing to help him for seongwoo’s benefit  
**choi yoojung:** how does he plan on asking him out

 **park woojin:** uh i think it’s to be determined at this point

 **choi yoojung:** okay well i have an idea

 **park woojin:** what is it

 **choi yoojung:** well it involves being discreet, persuasion, and a bit of assistance  
**choi yoojung:** and there’s at least a 30% chance it wont work  
**choi yoojung:** do u still wanna know

 **park woojin:** what other plans do we have tho

 **choi yoojung:** u rite  
**choi yoojung:** in its most simplified form my idea is: locking them in the practice room and hoping for the best

 **park woojin:** do you have another plan

 **choi yoojung:** hEY i know it sounds bad like that but that’s what it boils down to  
**choi yoojung:** let me elaborate  
**choi yoojung:** 1\. seongwoo wont want to see daniel so we gotta get him to come to practice on saturday  
**choi yoojung:** 2\. to do that we need to invite hyunwoo’s minhyuk along so he will actually stay there  
**choi yoojung:** 3\. distract him after practice ends until daniel arrives to use the room  
**choi yoojung:** 4\. lock them in together so daniel can explain his dumb ass without seongwoo trying to run away  
**choi yoojung:** 5\. results???

 **park woojin:** well  
**park woojin:** when you put it like that

 **choi yoojung:** see

 **park woojin:** still sounds like a bad plan

 **choi yoojung:** wow

 **park woojin:** but we dont have anything else so it’ll have to do

 **choi yoojung:** i’ll work out the finer details and then you can spread the plan to your friends + daniel?

 **park woojin:** roger that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get urself a wingwoman like yoojung
> 
>   
> p.s: stan [a.c.e](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHs6VoM3HaRxaRlnvdtzDZQ/)  
>   
> 


	19. friday

**[ Baby Squad™ (6) ]**

**[ nation’s dark past ] kicked [ mother ] out of the chat**

**nation’s dark past:** time to remodel this bitch

**[ nation’s dark past ] changed the chat name to [ im tired of all you fricks ]**

**[ nation’s dark past ] added [ lee euiwoong, ahn hyungseob, park minhyuk, and yoo seonho ] to the chat**

**park minhyuk:** why am i here

 **jeojang:** why is he here

**[ yoo seonho ] changed their nickname to [ chick 1 ]**

**[ chick 1 ] changed [ sweetest baby ]’s nickname to [ chick 2 ]**

**nation’s dark past:** for reasons that dont concern you park jihoon  
**nation’s dark past:** dont you dare kick him out  
**nation’s dark past:** i know where you sleep

 **jeojang:** woojin i know where you sleep

 **park minhyuk:** and i know where both of you sleep

 **david:** is this some strange love triangle/polyamory situation we were previously unaware of

 **jeojang:** ew no

 **park minhyuk:** gross no

 **nation’s dark past:** no  
**nation’s dark past:** this has to deal with the Situation for which this chat was originally created:  
**nation’s dark past:** Daniel Hyung’s Situation  
**nation’s dark past:** which is still a situation bc he’s dumb af lbr here

 **what that mouth do:** then why did you add euiwoong, hyungseob, minhyuk, and seonho?  
**what that mouth do:** i thought this was just a baby squad problem, as delegated by jisung-hyung

 **nation’s dark past:** well u see  
**nation’s dark past:** it’s not  
**nation’s dark past:** i have been in contact with the other side

 **park minhyuk:** oh was that what you talked to yoojung abt yesterday?

 **nation’s dark past:** yeah and now i have gained some insight

 **david:** okay that still doesn’t explain why you added people to the chat

 **nation’s dark past:** well u see i added people bc i didnt want to have 2 deal with minhyuk and jihoon trying to fucking murder each bc we need minhyuk here to help with the Situation  
**nation’s dark past:** they're less likely to try and murder each other in front of other people  
**nation’s dark past:** i tried to create a roommate gc at the beginning of the semester but that lasted all of 5 minutes  
**nation’s dark past:** also as soon as this situation gets Resolved im going to kick minhyuk out and this will be our Squad™ gc u feel

 **park minhyuk:** wow im feeling the love

 **jeojang:** there was never any love in the first place

 **chick 2:** savage

 **chick 1:** daniel hyung is having quite the problem if i do say so myself huh  
**chick 1:** a pre-dick-ament, if you will

 **park minhyuk:** weren’t you just added to the chat  
**park minhyuk:** how do you even know about that

 **chick 1:** i have Connections

 **park minhyuk:** what are you like in the mafia or something

 **chick 1:** maybe (*´・ｖ・)

 **david:** that's not concerning at all

 **jeojang:** okay can you get to the point woojin

 **nation’s dark past:** oh yeah  
**nation’s dark past:** i only needed minhyuk’s help really lmao  
**nation’s dark past:** but y’all can help too if u really want to  
**nation’s dark past:** idk what you could do tho

 **jeojang:** you know there’s a private chat feature right

 **nation’s dark past:** yes i know

 **park minhyuk:** what do you need my help with

 **nation’s dark past:** well u see yoojung came up with a plan to set daniel and seongwoo hyungs up  
**nation’s dark past:** bc apparently they’ve been pining over each other for a couple years or some shit?? Idk  
**nation’s dark past:** but ur job is to make sure seongwoo hyung comes to dance practice on saturday  
**nation’s dark past:** and we have to make sure he stays there and stays after long enough for daniel to get to the studio so we can lock them in

 **park minhyuk:** why are we locking them in them in the practice room

 **nation’s dark past:** so they can talk shit out why else  
**nation’s dark past:** there is a one-sided misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up  
**nation’s dark past:** yoojung said it was “so daniel can explain his dumb ass without seongwoo trying to run away”

 **david:** this is some drama level shit

 **chick 1:** well it works so well in the dramas shouldnt it work in real life

 **jeojang:** uh no?  
**jeojang:** when has anything you’ve seen in dramas ever actually worked in real life

 **what that mouth do:** why are you such a pessimist hyung

 **nation’s dark past:** oh wait jihoon i need your help too

 **jeojang:** no thanks im good

 **nation’s dark past:** too bad you’re doing it anyway  
**nation’s dark past:** you need to get daniel hyung to come to the studio a little after our dance practice ends  
**nation’s dark past:** i know he goes at 2:30 and we end at 2 but he has to be there earlier

 **jeojang:** what if i cant make him

 **nation’s dark past:** im sure i can convince him actor park

 **jeojang:** i hate you

 **nation’s dark past:** love you too

 **david:** okay if this isn’t some 3park polyamory situation  
**david:** then is it 2park?  
**david:** bc that’s what it looks like

 **jeojang:** shut up daehwi

 **nation’s dark past:** its not  
**nation’s dark past:** we’re just roommates

 **david:** haven’t you seen that vine  
**david:** “and they were roommates” “oh my god they were roommates”

 **nation’s dark past:** we are literally just roommates  
**nation’s dark past:** as predeterminded by whatever algorithm the school uses to sort those who stay on campus

 **david:** minhyuk-ssi what do you have to say on the matter as the third roommate

 **park minhyuk:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**[ jeojang ] left the chat**

**[ nation’s dark past ] added [ park jihoon ] to the chat**

**[ nation’s dark past ] changed [ park jihoon ]’s nickname to [ jeojang ]**

**nation’s dark past:** dont u dare leave  
**nation’s dark past:** bye minhyuk

 **park minhyuk:** goodbye everyone  
**park minhyuk:** i’ll remember you all in therapy

**[ nation’s dark past ] kicked [ park minhyuk ] out of the chat**

**david:** so jihoon hyung  
**david:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**[ jeojang ] kicked [ david ] out of the chat**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have jihoon and minhyuk lowkey become an enemies to lovers crack ship? idk lemme know
> 
> also!!! only one more chapter to go!!!!


	20. saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it my dudes,,,, the final chapter. thanks for joining on the ride that was my first fic, i appreciate u all so much for reading!! and a very big thanks to lucy and mare too!!! i literally couldn't have written this without you guys ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ
> 
> also can u believe this fic was only two weeks (+ two days) in the cm(b) universe? wild

**[ lets hope this works (12) ]**

**park woojin:** so how do we think they’re doing in there

 **moon bin:** idk i sent seongwoo a text that said “good luck there’s food in the cupboard just in case ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)” and he didnt respond so

 **ha sungwoon:** that leaves two options:  
**ha sungwoon:** daniel’s either been brutally murdered by seongwoo  
**ha sungwoon:** or they’re making out  
**ha sungwoon:** there is no inbetween it has to be one of those

 **hwang minhyun:** Hyung it’s only been five minutes

 **ha sungwoon:** yes and your point is?

 **park woojin:** highkey still cant believe this actually worked

 **choi yoojung:** why did you ever doubt me

 **jung sewoon:** we dont actually know if it worked tho  
**jung sewoon:** it’s like schrodinger’s cat

 **kim jaehwan:** whose cat

 **cha eunwoo:** Erwin Schrodinger, the scientist.  
**cha eunwoo:** We won’t know if the cat is dead or alive unless we open the box.

 **kim jaehwan:** I’m lost

 **cha eunwoo:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOYyCHGWJq4 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOYyCHGWJq4)

**kim doyeon:** what he means is we wont know what’s going on in there until we open the door to check on what has happened

 **yoon jisung:** on the topic of opening the door  
**yoon jisung:** who’s gonna check on them bc we cant leave them in there forever

 **choi yoojung:** more importantly who’s gonna unlock the practice room  
**choi yoojung:** bc no one gave me the keys

 **yoon jisung:** what keys

 **park minhyuk:** the door locks every time you close it

 **hwang minhyun:** Did no one get the keys from Dongho?

 **yoon jisung:** who was supposed to get them

 **moon bin:** oh shit  
**moon bin:** me  
**moon bin:** i knew i was forgetting something

 **kim doyeon:** it’s okay we all make mistakes  
**kim doyeon:** you more than others

 **moon bin:** okay wow rude

 **choi yoojung:** it’s the truth tho

 **yoon jisung:** minhyun if you have a moment to spare can you please get the keys from dongho

 **hwang minhyun:** I have to tutor someone soon  
**hwang minhyun:** Sorry Hyung :(

 **yoon jisung:** it’s okay

 **park jihoon:** wouldn’t going to the public safety office be quicker than tracking down dongho?

 **park minhyuk:** oh you stupid fucking idiot

 **park jihoon:** fucking fight me park

 **park woojin:** hey  
**park woojin:** Calm Down

 **ha sungwoon:** minhyuk’s got a point like the public safety person will have to come with you to unlock the room bc they just cant hand out keys to rooms and you probably would’ve fed them some excuse about locking your backpack in the room or something? so when they do unlock the room there’s either gonna be a dead body in there or a new couple making out  
**ha sungwoon:** and then it’ll just be embarrassing for everybody involved

 **moon bin:** shit u right

 **jung sewoon:** okay better plan: who is on campus with no previous engagement at the moment besides yoojung

 **kim jaehwan:** me

 **moon bin:** me

 **park woojin:** me

 **park jihoon:** me

 **moon bin:** me

 **jung sewoon:** okay yoojung you should stay near the practice room just in case dongho comes back  
**jung sewoon:** does anyone know where he went?

 **moon bin:** um i think he said something abt get something to eat, i’m p sure

 **jung sewoon:** the rest of you should spread out to try and catch him before he gets too far

 **kim doyeon:** smart

 **kim jaehwan:** an even better idea: does anyone know how to pick a lock

 **kim doyeon:** smarter

 **cha eunwoo:** I know how to pick a lock.

 **moon bin:** wtf why do you know how to pick a lock  
**moon bin:** and why didnt i know abt this????  
**moon bin:** it would have been useful in so many situations

 **cha eunwoo:** I’ve been watching lots of random informational videos lately.

 **yoon jisung:** how long will it take you to get to campus though?

 **cha eunwoo:** About 25 minutes? Give or take 10 minutes.

 **moon bin:** what if daniel’s already dead tho and ur leaving hyung to face the consequences of his actions for 15 to 35 minutes

 **park minhyuk:** let him suffer

 **yoon jisung:** well…Okay then  
**yoon jisung:** in the meantime.. how’s everyone's day been so far?

 

☆☆☆

 

**choi yoojung:** i literally want to Die

**kim doyeon:** why

**yoon jisung:** what happened

**choi yoojung:** well eunwoo oppa got the door open but he had to leave and i was expecting them to be waiting by the door but they weren’t?  
**choi yoojung:** so i go in further right

**kim jaehwan:** why does this read like a creepy pasta lmao

**ha sungwoon:** oh my god 

**choi yoojung:** and i hear noises from the lounge area you know so obvi i check it out

**ha sungwoon:** mistake #1

**kim doyeon:** why didnt u just call out to them yoojung u knew how this was probably gonna go

**choi yoojung:** i..dont know i wasnt thinking okay

**jung sewoon:** what happened when you got to the lounge?

**kim jaehwan:** yeah u cant just leave us on a cliffhanger like some kind of monster

**choi yoojung:** are you sure you want to know

**kim jaehwan:** uh how else are we going to find out what happened

**park woojin:** he's right

**choi yoojung:** are you really sure  
****

**park woojin:** you are literally the only person who was there to witness it so ur the only one who knows what happened 

**park jihoon:** stop stalling just tell us

**choi yoojung:** fine i was trying to protect you but you asked for it

**moon bin:** finally  
**moon bin:** i feel like this is the last ep of a drama lmao

**ha sungwoon:** if that’s the case someone should fire the writer  
**ha sungwoon:** not enough potential death and drama with past lovers

**kim jaehwan:** yeah like where was the iconic rain scene  
**kim jaehwan:** the crossing of paths but just missing each other

**ha sungwoon:** at least they got the “locked in a room together” trope

**choi yoojung:** hey can y’all shut up so i can send what happened like

**ha sungwoon:** damn ok

**choi yoojung:** thank you

**choi yoojung:** there they were, in the lounge  
**choi yoojung:** making out  
**choi yoojung:** like 2 secs away from taking off each other’s clothes  
**choi yoojung:** on the table we eat at

**yoon jisung:** oh honey

**choi yoojung:** on  
**choi yoojung:** the  
**choi yoojung:** table  
**choi yoojung:** we  
**choi yoojung:** eat  
**choi yoojung:** at

**park woojin:** well i guess step five was a success then?

**choi yoojung:** i know i facilitated this but i suddenly wish i hadn't  
**choi yoojung:** im scarred for life  
**choi yoojung:** like why me, a gay girl

**park jihoon:** that cant be it there has to be more

**choi yoojung:** yeah but i dont wanna relive it

**kim jaehwan:** i will pay you $25 to relive it

**choi yoojung:** make it $50 and i will

**kim jaehwan:** hey can anyone spot me $25

**choi yoojung:** after $50 has been wired to my paypal i will continue

**park minhyuk:** wow ur really going for this huh

**choi yoojung:** i have to make bank somehow in this capitalist society

**park minhyuk:** i know you already told doyeon what happened we can just ask her

**kim doyeon:** i have been sworn to secrecy

**choi yoojung:** jISUNG OPPA WHY DIDYOU JUST SEND ME $100

**ha sungwoon:** damn sugar daddy jisung coming through

**yoon jisung:** the other $50 is for any emotional distress that may have occurred  
**yoon jisung:** and i know it did so

**kim jaehwan:** jisung hyung can you be my sugar daddy  
**kim jaehwan:** i need $100 too

**yoon jisung:** No

**park woojin:** okay you got ur $50 tell us what happened

**choi yoojung:** okay well i gave them 5 seconds to notice that i was now in their presence and they didnt, even though i was literally standing in the doorway a few feet away from them  
**choi yoojung:** so i cleared my throat as loudly as i could and watched the life leave seongwoo oppa’s eyes as he made eye contact with me  
**choi yoojung:** he wrapped himself around daniel like a koala in embarrassment and i told them the door was unlocked  
**choi yoojung:** daniel had to carry seongwoo out of the practice room bc he refused to let go  
**choi yoojung:** im p sure i saw some hickeys on their necks but i dont want to think abt that  
**choi yoojung:** daniel also told me i was scary when i reminded him abt the message that had been passed along to him which i greatly appreciate

**moon bin:** what did the message say

**choi yoojung:** nothing you need to know

**ha sungwoon:** that wasn't worth $50

**choi yoojung:** sorry no refunds

**kim jaehwan:** 2/10 wouldnt watch this drama again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> but this!! is not the end!!! i already got 3 ideas (+ like a surprise lil fic..that takes place in this chap....except i still gotta write it lmao) for the whole ycnu universe brewing in my brain ok ( _EDIT:_ the suprise fic and the next installment of this series are out now! just click "next work"!)
> 
> in the meantime come chat w/ me on my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/peachtones) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/peachtoneau/)!!
> 
> and finally: thank you!!!! i love you!!!!!!! catch ya later!!!!!!!
> 
> (also here's some bonus info that couldn't be placed into the actual plot:
> 
> \- the modern dance class (mentioned exactly once in ch2) that daniel has he actually shares with rocky (but he doesnt actually know who daniel is, he has just become an enigma of a man in rocky's mind)  
> \- the phone number on the piece of paper daniel got in ch3 was ong's number, given to him by bin! daniel put it on his desk in his room and then Lost it (meaning that his cats found it and decided to play with it) (he lives off campus btw). basically this fic could've been waaaay different if i had actually decided to follow out with that plot line  
> \- the junior mj and kihyun were in the high note battle with in ch5 was jaehwan  
> \- the person who wrote daniel's phone number on the bathroom stall in ch7 was sungwoon (it has actually been in that bathroom for a while. since before sungwoon transferred schools). also part of the reason why daniel chose the nickname "peter parker" was bc of his cat lmao  
> \- the indecipherable drunk texts that ong sent yoojung between ch10 and ch11 were actually him being emotionally crushed at daniel's "rejection"  
> \- the two friends that sewoon invited over in ch16 were youngmin and donghyun  
> \- the reason why hyungseob and euiwoong didnt say anything in ch19 was bc hyungseob always has way too many ongoing conversations and gcs that it got lost in his notifs and euiwoong was just sitting there getting the tea on the whole situation lmao  
> \- the reason why dongho has the keys to the practice room instead of hyunwoo, who is the team captain, is because he always goes to the practice room way earlier than he needs to be on saturdays)


End file.
